A New Life for Lily
by naavi
Summary: Lily Evans isnt a typical ten-year-old. She was raised in a world where she didnt fit in. Her destiny called her to Hogwarts as it has fated her to be great. Greatness, however, is the last thing she wants, and it will have dire, dire consequences.
1. Beginnings

Chapter One ~ Beginnings

She sat, staring blandly at the words in the book in front of her. The words bounced and jiggled under her stare as the wheels beneath her rumbled. She had wondered if the train was even running on a track, but that thought -- along with a wide panorama of new things that had recently been introduced to her -- just seemed to complicated to even start to contemplate.

For you see, this wasn't and ordinary girl riding an ordinary train. No, she was different, she was special.

She was a witch.

Or so she was told. It was hard to believe that letter she had received, the one that came with the green writing on it, the one that was brought by an owl, of all things. And now she was off to a school to teach her about magic, something she had always considered to be a big hoax. Sure, she had seen those television specials where a magician would perform some crazy stunt with their lovely assistant. Were those paltry tricks what she was to be taught? She didn't want to be a waste, spending her next seven years at a school just to join the circus. 

She had visited Diagon Alley as the letter had told her. And what did she find when she got there? Nothing short of a freak show. The assortment of people (if you could call some of them people) she had found had not comforted her thoughts on this supposedly prestigious school. The goblins, the robes, and that crazy joke shop had not comforted her one bit.

Her parents had been ecstatic, they thought the name of her school -- Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry -- sounded exciting. They thought it might be just the thing to bring their shy little girl out of her shell, their nice term to say that she avoided contact with anyone but close relatives at all costs.

Parents, however, sometimes get carried away, and this particular set of parents failed to notice that their daughter wasn't happy even remotely. She wouldn't admit it, but she was scared. She was a loner, she always had been. 'I expect school will be no different,' she thought sourly. 'No one thinking to give some attention to that shy girl in the corner.'

She had stopped reading long ago, and had been sitting with her eyes glazed and her stare fixed. In a burst of confidence she decided to quit it with the self-pity and occupied her mind with what her book, Standard Book of Spells, Year 1, might have to offer. As if these books were good for anything. She tucked her hair behind her ear, nudged her glasses up the ridge of her nose -- her signature move -- and buried herself in her book.

She was only interrupted when the door to her compartment swung open and an impressive looking boy with a bright badge strode in with a few of his friends. "Ok, everyone," he bellowed. "Important prefect inspection! A few questions, then I'll leave you alone." This particular compartment was filled mostly with first years, all of which regarded him quizzically. Seeing this the boy added, "No need to worry, this is all routine." 

She had no desire to talk to this boy, and, seeing as he was starting in the front and she was seated near the back she seized the opportunity to slink back and sink deep into her chair. The boy talked very quietly with each person while his partners watched. He moved quickly from person to person, and was soon done. He opened the door to leave, and it looked as though she would be overlooked yet again. She felt triumphant, yet slightly disappointed, you'd think that with her bright mop of hair she be easy to pick out in a crowd. Was she truly _that_ easy to overlook?

Her question suddenly answered one of the boys friends called the apparent ringleader back in. "Blake!! Blake you missed one." She cursed the boy, though it made her feel better to know that someone had actually noticed her, in the most microscopic way.

He reentered impressively, almost shortening the distance between the door and her seat by covering it in two large strides. He walked up to her and inquired very businesslike, "And what is your name?" 

Definitely wondering what this was all about she answered, almost croaking, "Lily." Realizing she spoke in no more than a whisper she repeated, "my name is Lily."

The boy scowled at her, "I don't care about your first name, I want to know your last name." And, as if it explained all he added, "You know, the _important_ part."

Bewildered by his question she answered simply, but meekly, "Why, its 'Evans.'" 

"Evans!" He roared in mock horror, drawing the attention of the entire compartment to him and her. "Well that's not a proper name, now is it?" He snickered, and his friends joined in. "You must be one of the Muggles, those duffers that wouldn't know magic if you hit 'em with twenty spells at once." She stood, stock-still and silent. She had known that this was going to happen, she was never going to have any friends, not after she was publicly humiliated like this. "Too bad you'll never be as good as any of us with the _real_ magical talent. Just be warned you don't belong here. Soon enough Dumbledore will realize the mistake and send you home." 

She sat back down and continued to read. Having insults hurled at her didn't matter that much, at least she tried to convince herself of that. Having no friends wasn't that bad. She hadn't really had a friend in seven years, seven more couldn't hurt. And if she read a lot she could prove him wrong. She could get smart then curse him to humiliation and see how he liked it. She would just have to study. A lot.

And Blake just stood there. Here was a little first-year, a girl too, who he had just tormented. And she sat there and pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose, completely nonchalant. He just gaped. Muggles, go figure.

He tried to make a point of a fussy exit. "Come on now, I don't want to have to stay in a compartment with this riff-raff any longer than I have to. Lets get a move on." He didn't even look at her when he said it too. Being ignored, being taunted, and being put down were the three things that made Lily Evans' blood boil. Blake would have succeeded tremendously in getting her mad if she had only being paying attention.

She had always been a bit of a book worm, but she had never really studied. The homework she got was boring, it was just too simple. She probably could have done it in her sleep. Her teachers hadn't particularly liked her either. Ms. Peters hadn't been fond of her since the time they had been dissecting frogs in class. Lily's frog wasn't quite as dead as it had seemed, it tried to jump down the front of Ms. Peters blouse.

Of course, Lily didn't consider that to be magic. Magic was fake hats and flowers and little bunny rabbits. And those beautiful assistants who probably couldn't put a sentence together but were nonetheless perfect. She had loved magic until she found out it was a hoax, she had tuned into a "See How the Tricks are Done" programs on television. But she always noticed the magician had some beautiful assistant, and then she noticed not one of them ever had red hair.

Red wasn't such a bad color. Honestly, she loved her hair. But nobody seemed satisfied until they were positively sure she knew she resembled a fire engine, and carrots were indeed orange. 'Coppertop' was another favorite of particularly obnoxious boys. Girls had called her 'Raggedy-Ann' ever since she had gotten mad and sparks had starts flying through her hair, making it static and frizzy.

Girls had never said it to her face, but she had heard them talking about her. They had made fun of her. Her mother had said they were jealous, all of those blondes and brunettes, because she was special. After all, how many redheads do you see every day?

Boys teased her, and girls ignored her. It wasn't _that_ bad, she always tried to tell herself. But, every time it got less convincing.

And true to her thoughts, after Blake left, everyone turned back to what they were doing. Not that she would have noticed, she was reading up on petrifying spells. But, if she had taken her time she might have noticed that one person's gaze lingered, and that maybe, just maybe, she wasn't as invisible as she thought.

The train stopped not long after, and Lily closed her book with a long sigh. She watched as all the people filtered out. Maybe they will think everyone has gotten off, and just turn around and go home, she thought. Home. Even though she wouldn't admit it, she missed home terribly. Her mother, specifically. She had a sister, and even though her parents were under the delusion they got on great, it didn't exactly work that way. Petunia cared for her no more or no less than anyone else at their school. Petunia was just a little more than nine months older than her, and the timing was just right so they could be placed in the same grade. Or, from Lily's point of view, the timing was just _wrong _so they could be placed in the same grade.

Petunia had been on Honor Roll, she was very popular, she knew all the gossip and had opinions enough for the both of them. And she was a blond. No one in Lily's family had red hair, she guessed it was just some sort of joke on her. Did the cosmos just play an evil trick to see how she would take it? She continued to sit there and feel sorry for herself, she was so wrapped up in it that she didn't notice the compartment door open.

A boy who must have been at least sixteen was walking down the aisle and checking all the seats. Maybe he won't notice me, Lily thought for the second time that day. When he got her row he stopped and smiled. "Come on, you'd better hurry and get out or you'll miss the boats." She just looked down, she couldn't look at him. Boys weren't ever really nice to her, usually it was her defending herself against them. But a guy being nice? That just didn't happen. And she was embarrassed. Dreadfully so.

So she just sat there and swung her feet under the seat, acting like she didn't care. He stuck out his hand to help her up, and the simple gesture was enough to make her feel dumb, silly, and sad all at once. She desperately tried not to cry and turned her head away from the boy. His hand and his smile faltered for a moment. He withdrew his hand and looked at her quizzically for a moment, as if inspecting her. She felt nervous, but then he sat down next to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. 

"Nervous, eh?" He cracked a smile again. A very handsome smile. She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose and pushed her hair behind her ears once more. It was a very practiced motion for her. Insecurity made her do it, and never had she felt quite so insecure. She just nodded and replied quietly, "I don't belong here."

"Don't feel bad. You got the letter, otherwise you wouldn't be here. You deserve to be here just as much as the next person."

"You don't understand." It wasn't something that he had heard very often. He was very smart, practically in line to be Head Boy next year. And here was a little girl telling him he didn't understand. He chuckled a little. "Well, try me."

She turned to him, but cleverly swished her head so hair covered her eyes. She didn't want to actually make eye contact, she wasn't used to it. "I don't belong anywhere." 

He stopped smiling. He had already guessed she was new, that wasn't hard. She was probably a Muggle too. And obviously a very unhappy one. "You should just leave," she continued. "You don't want to be stuck on the train with me."

"You shouldn't be left here all by yourself." It was natural for him to say something like that, but it wasn't natural for her to hear it. It made her angry and sad at the same time. Sad that there were people like him that she had never known, and angry they had never cared to know her. 

"Why not? People have done it before." He stared at her again. Here was some girl, he didn't even know her name, and she was practically crying her eyes out. Well, she would be, if she hadn't been trying to hard to keep it in.

"Well, I wont. And it is my personal responsibility to make sure everyone gets off the train. And I'm not going to let you go." The girl suddenly stopped trying to stop herself from crying. She stopped crying all together and just looked at him.

"Why? Because someone told you to? Because it's your job to make sure no one is left on the train?" How bitter, how did a child become so bitter while so young? It was hard to imagine.

"Well, yes it's my job, so to speak. It doesn't mean I don't care. Listen, I have a little sister your age, she was nervous too. You'll get over it, I promise." He was so assured, she just had to believe him. She might have believed anything he said. At that moment, he was some odd version of her guardian angel. So devoid of pleasant human contact as she was, she was inclined to believe anything he said.

"Ok," she said, her voice shaking, "lets go to Hogwarts."

They crossed a magnificent lake in a boat that seemed to propel itself. She noticed there were oars, but they weren't using them.

"Are you doing it?" She asked him.

"Doing what?"

"Moving the boats, of course."

"Yes, you'll learn a great deal of charms before you leave Hogwarts, trust me." Maybe this whole magic thing won't be as bad as I thought, Lily considered. "Do you know anything about Hogwarts?" he asked.

"No." She looked ashamed for a moment, but then realized she really shouldn't care. She wasn't going to act like she cared, she had already promised herself that.

"There are four Houses: Slytherin, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Gryffindor. You stay with the people in your House for the seven years at school. You take classes with people from other Houses, though. I can't tell you how you get sorted into the Houses, though. It's a secret." He grinned, inviting her to share the joke. She smiled weakly. "Just remember, if you ever need help, I'm Eric Aster, someone would know how to find me."

"Right. I'm Lily Evans." He tried not to cringe at the name, so she had been the girl Blake had practically attacked. He had gone ranting into the Prefect compartment about some girl who didn't respect authority. Knowing Blake, however, he guessed it was Blake who was to blame.

They got out of the boat and ran towards the castle. She got there just in time to hear an impressive looking woman asking where on earth Lily Evans was. Suddenly she felt very small; she couldn't find her voice. Eric spoke for her. "I've got her right here professor. She got left behind by accident." The woman seemed to know what happened, but, to her relief, the other kids just thought there had been some slip-up.

"Very well, then. The Sorting is about to start, keep quiet and try to find your place in line." It was entirely impossible to keep quiet and find her place in line without asking someone where exactly she was supposed to go, so she just stood there and followed the boy next to her's gaze out to a hat sitting on a stool in the middle of the Hall.

The hat started to move. Lily rubbed her glasses to make sure she wasn't hallucinating. But, to her surprise it began to sing.

__

"Welcome, all, to Hogwarts School,

Don't gawk at me and think you've been fooled

You might think I'm just a simple talking hat

But listen, don't judge me simply on that.

For I know where you are meant to be

I course through your brains seeking your destiny

I'll search your mind right down to its core

To find your place in one of the Houses four.

Ravenclaw for those who have the brains

To solve any mystery, puzzle, or logic game

But the most prized Ravenclaws don't only have smarts

But are full of wit and determined of heart.

For those who are loyal, kind, and dear,

Fellow Hufflepuffs will certainly lend an ear

In this House you'll know you belong

If in your heart you play a friendly song.

To those who finish through and through

Slytherin is the House for you

Cunning and skillful you find your friends

With those you help you to meet your ends.

Gryffindor for those who harbor courage

And those who are righteous will certainly flourish

Face your fears and brave the facts

Your kindheartedness and spirit is not an act.

Though you may not know it you will see

That in one of these houses you are meant to be

I'll search your heart and open your eyes

To your true spirit that lays hidden inside."

People started to cheer as the Hat finished it's song, and Lily had to admit, it was quite good. She couldn't bring herself to clap along with the others, though. None of those Houses described her. She wasn't brave, or friendly, or cunning, and she had never gotten particularly good grades. She worried so much that she didn't notice the first dozen people had already gone before her. She heard her name being called and she almost turned and ran. She saw Eric smile and cross his fingers. She couldn't leave now.

Timidly, oh so timidly, she made her way up to the stool. She carefully placed the Hat over her head and was surrounded by darkness, the Sorting Hat covered her eyes.

I_Well dearie, what have we here?_/I

I don't know, she replied. The Sorting Hat was silent for a second as it examined her. It had the same feeling as someone looking her over and deciding she wasn't worth their time. She knew that feeling pretty well by now. 

__

Well, you certainly don't belong in Hufflepuff. You need to learn how to trust, Lily. People will care about you when you let them, you can't just shut them out. No, definitely not Hufflepuff material.

Oh, great! Lily thought with exasperation. I'll bet I don't belong anywhere. They'll have to send me home for sure now. I should have just stayed on the train.

__

Well! The Hat exclaimed. _That certainly isn't the way to go about it. You can't just give up at any little thing that blocks your path. I'm afraid that rules out Slytherin as well. Besides, I'm not sure if you would have gotten on well with them anyway. That boy who was mean to you on the train, he was a Slytherin, you know._

How did you know about the boy on the train? Lily asked.

__

Why, its all floating around in your brain, dearie. You seem terribly worried about him. But I'm sure he won't bother you anymore.

Well, that's encouraging, at least. She thought to the Sorting Hat, but it lacked any sort of vigor.

__

My dear Lily, never would you succeed in Ravenclaw with such lack of spirit and determination. I do believe Gryffindor is the best place for you.

Great, just great. I'm getting stuck in Gryffindor because I'm not good enough for anywhere else.

__

Now listen here! The Sorting hat talked to her sternly. _I have been at this job for a thousand years. Never have I been wrong. There is something about you, Lily Evans, that I believe will bring good things to you. Gryffindor will cause you to brave the facts, therefore making you into the person I know you want to be. Self-assured, brave, and comfortable. Yes, Lily Evans GRYFFINDOR will bring you good things._

She got off the stool and looked around. She hadn't been paying attention to where all the different tables were located. She tried to determine if there was some sort if sign to tell her where to go. It was sort of hard to do while staring at your feet. 

__

Stop trying so hard, dearie, and open up. Look with your heart, not your eyes. 

It was unmistakably the Sorting Hat's voice. She turned around to see the flap for its mouth was curved up in a grin. When she looked back frontward she stopped trying to hide her face and calmed herself down. Then, she saw a table full of people cheering. Eric was there, waving her over towards him. She smiled and walked over, receiving many greetings of 'Welcome to Gryffindor' and a few pats on the back. Her smile almost cracked her face.

She belonged. 

* * *

Well, how do you like it? I tried to make Lily different from other Lily's. She isn't beautiful, she isn't horrendous, but I think she is more like a normal person. Not connected with my other fic (but I'd love it if you took a look at it!) As always, you review me, and I'll review you back. Simple as that.

****

YES!! I did write the Sorting Song by myself, do you like it?

Also, Ive been having a bit of trouble with the italics. Just bear with me, ok?


	2. Cosmic Alterations

Chapter 2 ~ Cosmic Alterations

The Sorting passed, she saw a few girls and a couple guys find seats at the Gryffindor table. She determined that she had taken quite awhile on the stool, people had given her an odd sort of look and it all made sense. But, she felt closer to home at Gryffindor somehow. Pensive over the Hat's words to her Lily hardly noticed as dinner appeared on the table in front of her. Suddenly, there were heaps of food just lying in the dishes that had been empty before. How did something like that happen? She felt under the table to see if there was a slot or something to slide it up from. There was nothing there, not even the usual gum that had perpetually adorned school cafeteria tables. Carefully she ducked her head under the table to look and see if anything was under there.

"What are you doing under there?" The voice startled her and she bumped her head on the table, then cursed herself for doing something _so_ stupid in public. I just don't know when to stop, do I? she wondered. And it was all going so well, too…

Lily pulled her head out from under the table, careful not to bump her head again. When she had rearranged her glasses (they had slipped down) she saw that the girl who had talked to her was a pretty blonde. A _very _pretty blonde.

I just hope she doesn't laugh, please don't let her laugh…

The girl laughed.

Why do people always have to laugh?

"So, what's your name?" Why was this girl still talking to me? A joke? Is my hair sticking out weird? Ok, so my hair always sticks out a bit, but I didn't notice anything particularly bad this morning…

Lily was so preoccupied with worrying that she almost forgot to answer. When she did answer she did so rather slowly, she was still in a bit of a shock.

"Evans." Lily looked at the girl, who was watching her rather oddly, and realized that _she_ probably wanted to know her first name. So, as quickly as she could she finished, "Lily Evans."

She started to laugh again.

"Oh, are you Muggleborn? I guess you must be, if you've seen James Bond." James Bond? Lily wondered, She thinks I'm making a joke about James Bond? Well, I might as well go with the flow!

"Yeah, I'm definitely Muggleborn."

"Oh, I think the other three girls in our dorm are all from wizarding families, but I'm not sure." She stood up, and when Lily didn't she gripped her hand and pulled her along to the other end of the table. "Hey guys, this is Lily." Four bright cheery faces looked up to greet her. They all seemed to be like the people who would be popular back at her school. Things weren't looking up quite as much as she had thought.

They all said hello and started to eat, when Lily realized she didn't have a seat over here. She was about to slink back to her own seat when the girl pulled her over and squeezed her in between her and one of the other girls, Aileene.

Aileene was rather pale skinned, but freckled. She had brown hair, _straight_ brown hair, Lily noted enviously. She was obviously Irish, and the expression 'Irish eyes are smiling' fit her very well. Her eyes were deep hazel and crinkled at the corner from a smile. Out of all of them she was closest to Lily in height, Lily was very short. Madam Malkin didn't have robes to fit her, they had to be hemmed by her mother.

They girl who had been so nice to Lily (she was still wondering why) was named Eleanor. She was tall, confident and pretty. But she was nice at least. Lily would pick Eleanor over Petunia any day of the week. Even if they invented new days, thought Lily on a whim, and Petunia was Empress of the Earth I would still pick Eleanor.

Picturing Petunia as Empress of the Earth wasn't working too well so Lily went back to finding out about the other girls.

One of the girl's names was Cara, she was rather nice, she had really deep brown eyes and sort of wavy long brown hair. Lily wished that her hair went down past her shoulders. Maybe I should consider growing it out, she thought.

"You're Lily Evans, right?"

"Yeah, that's me."

"Oh. I am right after you in the alphabet, it made me so nervous waiting while you were sorted. Weren't you nervous? It took the hat so long to decide for you."

"I hadn't noticed." Lily tried to hide the sarcasm in her voice, this girl wasn't particularly amiable, or at least she wasn't familiar with the concept of making a good first impression. In fact, Lily hadn't been to familiar with that concept either, but she found that here she sort of wished that people would like her. She kind of wanted to fit in.

"Oh." She sounded suspicious, Lily thought. Or at least not normal. Lily felt she should explain, but it turned out more like a defense.

"The Hat just kept on talking to me, telling me all this stuff, so then I asked the Hat some questions."

"You had a conversation with the Sorting Hat?" Did this girl retain any information at all? Didn't I just say I was talking to the Hat? Lily thought, annoyed with the girl for a moment.

"Well, yeah. What did the Sorting Hat do for you?"

"It just told me stuff, I didn't actually talk back." And suddenly Lily realized that Cara was just as nervous as Lily was, she had only noticed that Lily had taken long because she had been anxiously awaiting her own turn to sit upon the stool. And then Lily didn't feel so malicious. Cara actually turned out to be nice. It was a surprise for her to be in Gryffindor, her parents had been Ravenclaws. Lily felt jealous that Cara had grown up around magic, it hadn't been shoved in _her_ face by a large tawny owl.

But then, Lily didn't actually resent that owl either. Hogwarts did seem better than her old school, it was new and different. And the people here actually seemed to want to give Lily a chance.

The other two girls in her room, Lily soon found out, were named Veronica and Meagan. They seemed to know each other, some wizarding primary school or another. Lily never really caught on. When dinner was almost over she felt a small tap on her shoulder. She turned around to see herself looking up into a very gorgeous pair of brown eyes.

"Hey, Eric," she stuttered. _Look at those eyes._

"Hey Lily. I was just wondering how you were doing." _He is so cute. _

"Just fine now. Thanks." _He's nice, too._

He smiled and answered, "Well, I just wanted to check. Ill be seeing you." _And what a great smile.___

She didn't remember saying bye, she just turned back to her food. Eleanor was staring at her. "Where'd you meet such a dreamboat?"

"On the train."

"He's cute. Too bad he's a sixth year." Lily had to agree on that account. He was five years older. It was sort of like having a crush on a movie star. But then, didn't the movie star always fall in love with the poor damsel in distress? If I'm not in distress I don't know who is, she thought.

Dinner had ended, after a huge dessert of some weird chocolate thing. Lily had no idea what is was, but it had been good! After everyone had finished the Gryffindors all stood up and started walking out of the hall. It turned out they were all following the Gryffindor Prefect, the girl, Eric wasn't there, up to the Gryffindor Common Room. Everyone stopped in front of an old portrait of a very fat lady in a gaudy pink dress. Lily easily managed to scoot up to the front being as small as she was. 

Lily stared at the painting of the woman. She was a little overweight, Lily noted, and wore excessive makeup as well as a smile. Lily wondered if it was important or something, but the strangest thing happened. It talked.

"It isn't polite to stare." And with the sharp reprimand Lily found the floor much more interesting than a talking moving painting. She did, however, manage to sneak glances at the Fat Lady (the girl had called her that) through gaps in her hair. Honestly, it was like a movie. Except for this lady only asked for the password, which the Prefect said loudly so everyone could hear.

The Fat Lady asked her to hush up, please. She had been screaming in the portrait's ear. 

Lily rubbed her glasses in an attempt to clean them and put them back on. But the picture still moved. She tried again but the lady just stood there and tapped impatiently and asked if Lily wanted to go through. Lily nodded meekly and was immediately glad she had entered.

The Common Room was marvelous, though she hardly had time to notice as she was quickly ushered up to her dormitory, which was even more splendid than downstairs, if that was even possible. Thick red velvet curtains with gold tassels adorned her four poster bed. She lay down on the bed her trunk was next to at once and reveled in the smooth fabric. Hogwarts certainly went all out to provide for their students.

They all went to bed rather early, tired out by the long and exciting day. Lily rested for awhile, reading for a bit before nodding off as she always had done. She had an affinity for reading she couldn't fall asleep unless she read. That night it had been a fairy tale romance, one of her favorites -- Sleeping Beauty.

Except that it was different reading it that night. The witch bothered her. The other people here didn't act like that, or dress like that. The real witches didn't do that. They have real wands and real spells to learn. Magic wasn't an evil practice either, simply a part of daily life.

You're a witch too, you know, she reminded herself. You have the wand and the spells and all of that. _You _are a real witch.

In her last moments of thought before she drifted off to sleep she decided, Why yes, I believe I am.

The next morning she woke up early, it was a bit of a habit for her. She took advantage of her dorm mates being asleep and took a long shower. As she finished the rest of the girls were just awakening.

They won't get to take a shower, she thought, proud for starting off the day on the right foot. She walked down to the Great Hall for breakfast, the sun from the ceiling shining brightly. Supposedly it was enchanted to look like the sky. If it was fake, it was certainly a very realistic fake. Aileene, Eleanor, Meagan, and Veronica joined her not long after, and then they all continued to their first lesson, Transfiguration.

Professor McGonagall was not to be toyed with, that was certain. Class had been somewhat of a disaster. No one really managed to get their match into a needle, though many people weren't even paying attention. Lily certainly wasn't. Professor McGonagall was the same woman who had asked about her before the Sorting. Lily had this odd feeling that the Professor knew exactly what had happened on the train ride. She didn't really like the feeling. 

Lily kept checking to make sure that McGonagall wasn't staring at her, which resulted in Lily hardly paying attention to what she was doing. She was partnered with Aileene who wasn't doing too hot either. But, Lily had fun, and it was an opportunity to find out more about her new room mate, one of the girls she would be spending the next seven years of her life with.

"So, you come from a Muggle family too?" Aileene had asked Lily very cheerily, managing to brighten Lily's apprehensiveness.

"Yeah, I had never even heard about magic." Lily then remembered something, "But wait. I thought you came from a wizarding family."

"My family knew there was magic in the family, they just never told me. I suppose they should have guessed I was magical when my report card changed that one time." Aileene giggled and so did Lily, this girl's happiness was contagious!

"How did you manage that?"

"Well, I was rather upset, my teachers weren't very, er, fond of me." Aileene said the word 'fond' with emphasis, implying what Lily already understood, her teachers had though her a troublemaker as well. "They gave me pretty bad marks. I brought them home to show my parents, they weren't happy, and when I went to school the next day all my teachers called in to say that they had calculated my grades wrong!"

"You know, my teachers never really liked me either, ever since that time where I started to bring animals back to life in Science class, the term about Animal Kingdom was a disaster!" They went on, describing different incidents where they had acted out without knowing it. Lily was actually finding comfort in the things that had always separated her from people before, a bizarre turn of events, true, but Lily was enjoying every minute of it. 

Lily stopped caring whether or not McGonagall was watching her, she was having too much fun. If Lily had checked she might have found that the teacher really was watching her. McGonagall saw Lily not paying one ounce of attention, carrying on like she was in her dorm, not a classroom. McGonagall did not tolerate this type of behavior in her classroom, it was strictly for learning, no horseplay under any circumstances.

But looking at Lily, all she could do was smile, and carry on with teaching. Some things were better left alone.

Lily's next class was Care of Magical Creatures. The teacher, a man called Professor Kettleburn. He was a sort of dumpy looking man, but he had a booming voice. 

"Welcome to Care of Magical Creatures everyone. Over the course of this year you will be studying a wide range of animals. But today, we start out small." From behind his back he pulled a small ball of fluff, or at least that's what it looked like.

"This is a Greebleypuff. They seem like an animal to cuddle with but in reality they are much more important than that. Their fur is used for the insulation needed when handling the pink flame." Some people muttered at this, Lily had no idea what they were talking about. "They are in great demand now, obviously, but they have to be raised first. This one here is only a baby." Some of the other girls made a little 'oooooh' sound. It was pathetic, but she actually saw where they were coming from.

The Greebleypuff was only about the Professor's handspan in width and height. It could have been smaller, but Lily couldn't really tell, it's hair puffed out so much that it was hard to see anything but it's face. It's eyes were big and round and it's nose sniffed the air around it. It was an odd looking thing, no doubt, but it was cute too. 

"Now, each of you will get one, but remember these are babies. Still, they are terribly smart blighters, they can sense things that neither you nor I would notice. You are responsible for feeding it, the information you need will be found in your books." He grinned slightly, then continued, "Also, there is one very important stage to a Greebleypuff's development. Your homework will be to research it and find out how to bring about this change. We will be handling the Greebleypuffs for a week, at the end of the week your Greebleypuff should have changed." He finished with a definitive sort of look. Lily didn't even want to consider what would happen if hers didn't work.

Unfortunately, she ended up doing quite a bit of thinking on the subject. Her Greebleypuff was scared of her, for goodness' sake! Other people were gently feeding theirs, the girls were doing better on the whole, but Lily's would just stare at her and hop away. When she reached out her hand to pet her Greebleypuff she got a nip on the finger. Nothing painful, the equivalent of a rabbit nibbling on a little bit of carrot. She wasn't hurt, not physically anyway. Needless to say, Lily was quite happy when it was time for her next class. 

She was even happier when she got to the class, Charms. The teacher, Professor Flitwick, was a small jovial man, and Lily liked him instantly. Excitedly, he explained what they would be doing today.

"Now, everyone take out your textbook." A lot of the class groaned and opened to the first page, but Professor Flitwick just shook his head. "No, keep them closed and put them on your desk. Each of you will be trying to make the book move across the table. But, if you don't remember the spell you might want to take a look in that book after all!" People started to shuffle about, Lily made her way to Eleanor.

"Ah, yes, I almost forgot. Everyone needs a partner." Even more groans ensued. Lily listened as she got paired with a Sirius Black, a rather odd name from her perspective. Trouble was, she had no idea who he was. Even more trouble came when she found out what he was actually like.

"You're Lily, aren't you?" 

"Yes." Slowly and unsure of herself, the word fell from her lips, she had no practice talking with guys. Well, there was Eric, but that we different, he was nice.

"I saw you when you got sorted. It took awhile."

"Oh." 

"So, do you want to get started on this spell were supposed to do?"

"Sure." More monosyllabic answers, she just couldn't talk.

"Any idea what the spell for it is?"

"Yup." He stared at her oddly after this then said slowly, "Any clues you might want to give me?" He followed up with a grin.

"Sure, its Mobilarus. Just point your wand and say it, that should do it." 

"Oh, you do speak in sentences. I was beginning to wonder." It was meant as a joke, but Lily had no experience with Sirius' jokes, and she took it rather personally.

"I don't see why I should waste words on you, that's all." And before she had been shy, now here she was, telling off this obnoxious guy. She was already getting over her shyness, even if it was because she was upset.

"Whoa, calm down. Fiery temper you have there, just like your--"

"Don't you dare say it, Sirius." He looked a little surprised, but she didn't blame him, she had spun around and pointed her finger right into his chest. It was a little comical, and she giggled a little, but stopped. Petunia had giggled incessantly, Lily would never do that. But the mood was lightened, and Sirius took a stab at moving the books. It didn't work. When he finally gave up and gave Lily a shot things turned out quite differently.

The book propelled off the table and into the Professor's back, making him stumble. She steeled herself for punishment, a detention perhaps, but none came.

"That wand certainly does pack a wallop. May I see it?" Lily handed over her wand. It was short, like she was, and skinny as well. It was a beautiful polished cherry, a deeper red than her hair, but red all the same. 

"Ahh, I see it now. The magical properties of this wand will serve you well in Charms. I am afraid, however, that this wand might take a little getting used to. The core of your wand is -- oh my, well dear me! Suffice to say, Ms Evans, that you have a _very_ interesting wand and can look forward to a particularly interesting year in Charms." Picking up her book form the floor he added, "And a job very well done."

Lily beamed, things were going right after all. Sirius, who looked very surprised by the whole affair turned to her. "Good job Firetop."

Strange as it was, she didn't care. 

Strange as it was, it actually made her feel good. The words she held on the tip of her tongue felt foreign, but when she muttered them, they felt more right than anything she had said since she had arrived. "Thanks" and she smiled, very weakly, and he smiled back.

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry -- maybe that name did hold a bit of splendor. She was here and loving it already.

Oh yes, how strange it was.

* * *

On a spiritual high she made her way to her next class. She passed the spooky paintings, she crossed through murky hallways and she walked into the dingy classroom, slowly making her way into the dungeon of this great castle. Later she would come to associate this room with the torture chambers located in medieval dungeons she had read about, for it was literally painful to attend this class.

But on the first day she felt nothing could drag her spirit down. Nothing could make her feel bad or out of place. Nothing could wreck her good mood.

Nothing except him.

His cold eyes and colder expression made her good mood vaporize like a drop of water spilled onto a frying pan. "This class will probably be the hardest one you will take. No excuses, no forgetfulness, and _no_ mistakes! Mistakes in Potions will cost you, whether it be an arm or a passing grade." Lily gulped, at least Ms. Peters hadn't been this bad, not even when the frog had refused to get out of her blouse. "You will start with a simple potion, it will enhance one of your senses for about a minute. Sight, smell, touch, feel, hearing; whichever one you are most lacking." Suddenly he flared, "And I have a feeling it will be hearing! Why are you all not copying this down? Name and effects of the potion, quickly, quickly!"

One girl made the mistake, the frightful mistake, "But sir, you haven't told us the name of the potion yet."

"Excuses! Excuses and forgetfulness! What did I tell you? Please, someone tell Ms. Avewood the name of the potion." No one remembered, or if they did they were too scared to get it wrong. Lily practically broke the back of her chair from pressing onto it so hard. Sirius had decided she was good luck and had decided to be her lab partner. He, unlike Lily, seemed unfazed.

Maybe that's why he was chosen for prey.

"Mr. Black, I'm sure you know what the name of this potion is. While you're at it, give us the three main ingredients." The Professor, she hadn't even caught his name, looked entirely too smug. That is, until Sirius answered -- correctly.

"Hm…that would be Acroayte and the liquidated leaves of the Chaeucus plant, and the third ingredient would be…"As Sirius paused the Professor's eyes glinted evilly. Teachers weren't supposed to do that, were they? "Oh yes, and the small pink petals of the Sempermut flower. The three are the most important ingredients on the Leniamen potion." The Professor was infuriated, it looked as though it took all his willpower not to throw a chair at Sirius.

"Lucky guess, Mr. Black," the Professor loudly exclaimed once he regained his composure. "Now get to work!" Sirius lay back in his chair, talking casually all the while. _He_ didn't notice the Professor practically breathing down their backs. Lily tried to work on the potion, but it was difficult while she was so nervous. 

As she counted out the petals into the measuring cup her glasses slipped down her nose and she caught a blurry image of Sirius leaning back in his chair, talking with his friend. With her glasses still down she could gather that the potion was an aquamarine color, one that would change to navy blue when the Sempermut petals were added. She had to pluck the individual petals off the flower, which was very hard task. The petals of the Sempermut flower changed color, and even dead the flowers petals changed color rapidly, it was a challenge to pluck them while still pink.

Pouring slowly while stirring while her other hand Lily had worked meticulously to prepare the potion down to it's last step, adding the petals. If her glasses had been on she might have noticed that the extra liquidated Chaecus plants leaves had been knocked over and Sirius' chair was about to slip. She might have even had the time to shield herself before Sirius leg bumped the table. 

But she hadn't, and the potion, still aquamarine, splashed up out of the cauldron, and by some twist of fate, right into the unprotected eyes of Lily Evans. 

She tried to blink, she tried to rid the burning sensation out of her eyes. Her glasses crashed to the floor, broken glass slightly tinkling on the hard stone. She rubbed frantically on her eyes but to no avail. Her senses were out of whack, surging up one second to go completely null the next. 

That is why she heard the gasps as they raced through her head with the sound of a thousand elephants, but hardly felt a thing when she hit the floor, resounding with a large, painful smack.

* * *

Well, I hope that you liked it. PLEASE REVIEW!!! I will write you back, just like I am doing to all these people down here! Also, tell me, shorter or longer chapters? Should they come farther apart or closer together? Or, if you are reading my other fic as well which should I take priority on? 

Thank-yous:

Anastacy: I'm soooo glad you reviewed, and even more that you like it! I know that the wait has been long, but I got more than 4000 words in this chapter, that's a personal best! I know people write more in a chapter, but it's hard for me to do that. I hope you like this chapter as well!

Atlantis Forester: you remind me of the tiger on the cereal box! 'Greaaaaaaaaat!' Lol, anyway, merci for the review!

A Tye: I tried to make it realistic, we don't know that Lily was a brave prankster. I'm glad you thought it was sweet, I was shooting for a toothache with the ending!

Berty n' Beans: Thanks for being my first reviewer on this fic! I'm really glad that you liked it, hope this chapter is up to snuff!

*Britz*: I luv you too, girl! You are on my faves author list as well, just because you have always been a great reviewer and a fellow j/l lover! I cant wait to see how your fic turns out!

Channy Hoppy: Lovely to hear from you! I tried not to let writers block get too much in the way of this fic. Stupid ff.net was down! But, I love this site anyway, its great, don't you think? Especially with nice people like you around : )

da Wolf: Thanks for the review, every little bit counts! I take guilty pleasure in reading the words 'very good' hehehe. No, I'm not crazy, just sleep-deprived.

Destinys Angel: I never quit on a fic, you can hope to see this continue to the end, wherever that may be! I'm glad you like it so much!

Gurlie409: The only thing I like more than hearing that this is a good fic is that I am a good writer, it means a lot! I hope that you like this chapter, tell me what you think!

Hermione Gulliver: I love all your fics! I'm so glad you like mine too. I just wish I had more time to write then maybe I could have as many fics as you do!

Jilly_Chan: I'm so happy you liked it! *blows on a kazoo* YAY!!! Anyway, back to reality, muchos gracias for the comments!

Lily Evans: Hm, you were closer than you think with that guess, it won't be so blatant though. Guess you'll just have to see what happens next…

Pampered Tigress: Thanx for all your great support, I appreciate it! Sugar highs can be very dangerous, you are right, watch out!

Sara Penn: I like your idea of starting out from the perspective of the person on the train that I almost scratched what I had of this chapter and started over! I hope that this one is still good enough though, I tried so hard!

Sarah: Wait, don't go! Lily will change, I promise. Its her getting there that will be interesting, I promise! Please keep reading! Okay, to many !'s Anyway, Lily isn't suicidal or anything, she is just feeling lonely, I know people feel like that all the time. I'm glad you like my writing style though, I was a bot down after I got a B+ on a paper just because my teacher didn't like my style! Oh well, cant please them all, I guess.

Sassy_Chick81: Thanks so much, saying why you like something can make all the difference, and I was glad you commented on my one purpose in this fic, to make Lily seem real! I hope you like this chapter!

Scarlet Phoenix: Hey, don't be too hard on yourself, I know that parts of this fic aren't completely original, its hard to find a fic that is. Just make it interesting an you will have nothing to worry about. Thanks for reviewing.

Oh and please check out **my other fic!!!!!!!!!!!!!** Its called **Lily's Problems** it's an older Lily and is based more on her and James and a plot other than Lily's development. But don't worry, I have a very interesting plot in line for this story! Also, those two fics are not connected, this might just be Lily's first year, but you never know… ;)


	3. Simply Lily

Chapter 3 ~ Simply Lily  
  
  
  
The colors swirled in front of her, a private show of the Northern Lights dancing inside her eyelids. Then she realized the bright floating dots weren't figment of her imagination, but real people. As she chose one thing to focus on the color drained form that area, concentrating the light in another space.  
  
The only thing she could make out before fainting was the leering face of the Professor over her, yelling silent words at those around her, and then the pain from the stones beneath her which cut into her skin.  
  
And then she saw no more.  
  
* * *  
  
  
  
"The girl, what has happened to her?" Lily fought to see, but she couldn't. Unseen power shut her eyes as she heard this conversation.  
  
"An accssssident, my Lord."  
  
"Who caused it?"  
  
"The Potter boy." 'The Potter boy'? she wondered. Who was that? Sirius was the one who had knocked over the potion.  
  
"Potter?"  
  
"Yesssssss, his ssssson."  
  
"Well, then, something will have to be done. If I wish to rise to power little issues like these must be taken care of."  
  
"What musssssst be done?"  
  
And evil eyes blazed, frightening Lily and making her scream. "Dispose of them."  
  
* * *  
  
Lily continued to scream, flailing her arms madly. Students down the hall began to wonder if all the rumors about the new nurse were true. Did she really torture everyone who went in there? They quickly hurried past the Infirmary, never looking back.  
  
Really, Madam Pomfrey was kneeled over Lily, shaking the girl frantically. Her first real day on the job and already there had been a fiasco. "Open your eyes!" she begged, wishing it to herself. The Potions master -- Professor Pravus -- had explained the nature of the problem. But Lily had been in the Infirmary for over a week and this was the first sign of consciousness that Madam Pomfrey had gotten from Lily. And under the circumstance Madam Pomfrey almost wished that Lily was still asleep. Again, she fervently begged, "Please, Lily, open your eyes!" She had cuts up and down her arm from where they had lashed into the bedside table, deeper than they would have been on any normal child.  
  
Lily widened her mouth to scream, emitting no sound. She convulsed then quieted, her senses finally coming to a rest. Madam Pomfrey rubbed an ice cube she had just conjured on the back of the girl's neck, immediately wakening her.  
  
Lily's eyes fluttered open, "What happened?" Madam Pomfrey couldn't bring herself to tell the girl the truth.  
  
"You had an accident, child." She wasn't harsh, she was endearing. The poor, poor girl, she thought.  
  
"Oh. When can I go?"  
  
"I'm afraid there are a few…complications to be worked out before you can leave. What's important now is getting some rest, so I will spell you to sleep soon." A dreamless sleep, she added in her head.  
  
And as Madam Pomfrey spelled her Lily fell asleep contented. She would never remember the conversation she had heard taking place thousands of miles away, she would never remember its significance towards herself, and she would never recognize those evil eyes. They were wrapped up as quietly as she was right now, thoughts lain to a deep slumber hopefully for a long, long while.  
  
Madam Pomfrey left, she had other business to attend to. But one person lingered in the room, a student who hadn't been so fearful as to pass right by a door with a screaming person inside. He watched her, saw her sleep after thrashing about. And he saw her lips move yet while she lay there. 'The Potter boy,' she said. 'The Potter boy.'  
  
He backed away; eerily aware that something, something had happened in that room just now, something that he couldn't comprehend. And it frightened him, though he wouldn't ever show it. For he knew the Potter boy, he knew him very well, in fact.  
  
For 'the Potter boy' was him.  
  
* * *  
  
"Hey, hey! You guys I'm back!" Sirius sauntered into his dorm room with a grin the size of England plastered across his face.  
  
"What, the great prat Pravus didn't give you a detention? You got off completely free?" his roommate Peter said in awe.  
  
"Oh, yeah, I did get three detentions, but you should have seen that bugger's eyes pop out. It was wicked!"  
  
"Three detentions already Sirius? I would have expected a bit more from you," another boy in the dorm, Remus, commented. He obviously thought Sirius should have exerted a bit more self-control. Sirius, however, saw it a bit differently.  
  
"I know, I really should have gotten four, but I wasn't the one deciding, Pravus had that one. But really you guys, his eyes were about to pop out, and there was this little vein pulsing like mad on his neck, it was great!"  
  
At this point Sirius' other roommate stood up. "Don't you even care?"  
  
Sirius looked at him quizzically. "What do you mean?"  
  
"The girl, you idiot. Don't you even care about what you did to her?" Now Sirius wasn't the sort of guy who would sit around and be criticized by people he didn't know very well. And he didn't appreciate how this other boy came in and acted all high and mighty as if he was important and Sirius wasn't. Sirius had actually though the other boy was pretty cool, of course he couldn't really remember his name, but that didn't matter anymore, for this boy was definitely not cool in his books anymore. Sirius was supposed to be the center of attention, at least from his point of view, and he didn't appreciate the cheeky little roommate, not at all.  
  
"Listen you—you—" he faltered, searching for this boy's name.  
  
"James Potter," he answered smugly, reveling in this other boy's fault, yet feeling badly at the same time. He had thought that he and Sirius were friends, they had gotten on great at first, but things weren't exactly looking up anymore.  
  
"Fine. James, why don't you just bug off? You do us all a fat lot of good."  
  
"Hey, Sirius, James has got a point you know." James looked at Remus, the speaker, with a thankful glance. Well, as thankful as an eleven-year-old boy gets, which is really just limited to a small nod, mostly masked by James' massive amount of wild black hair. But Remus saw it and nodded back, gratitude received. Sirius noted this and tried a different angle.  
  
"Why Jamsie here seems to have a little crush on Lily, now doesn't he?" Sirius asked, really only questioning to himself while grinning smugly.  
  
"Listen, I didn't even know what her name was—"  
  
"Work fast don't you?"  
  
"No!" he growled. "But I did hear her screaming in pain from down the hall, and I saw her bleeding, and I saw her robes with holes cut through them all over. And I saw the way the nurse looked at her and I know that whatever it is, whatever you did, it won't go away easily, and it's not just some everyday problem."  
  
Sirius' conviction seemed to falter a bit at that statement. "Well, aren't you just the little know-it-all?"  
  
"I know some things better than you. But you probably know some things better than me," he said fairly.  
  
Sirius didn't like to sit around and be on the wrong side of the argument. Not only did he not like losing, but James was making him look bad while he was beating him! So he took yet another angle. "It wasn't even my fault. If you remember, I was talking to you while the accident happened."  
  
This stifled James as he remembered. He had been talking to Sirius during Potions; they were making fun of Pravus. Now suddenly his argument seemed off, and Sirius saw that too. But before he was allowed to take advantage of the position he was in James had grabbed Sirius' arm and was dragging him down the stairs and out of the Common Room, Sirius fighting the stronger boy all the way. Finally he broke off.  
  
"Hey, what gives? What's the matter with you, dragging me all over the castle?"  
  
"You're just going to visit her, you just have to see her, and then you can go." Sirius considered this, and then agreed. No harm could come from just walking in the room. And so they walked to the Infirmary and slowly opened the door in case the nurse was right inside. When they didn't see her they cracked it open more and walked inside. Sirius made a big show of turning in a big circle then started to walk out. James grabbed his arm again.  
  
"Hey!" Sirius cried in indignation, still trying to keep his voice low. "I came, I looked, and now I'm leaving." James just pulled him back and pointed to the dresser Lily had hit against. When Sirius looked down he couldn't really see anything at first against the dark cherry of the wood, but then he noticed it, blood. And he saw the bandages on Lily's arm. James pointed out the robes that he hadn't consciously noted, yet remembered clearly. And Sirius just gaped at the girl. Shed had been fiery, he remembered. And as he went to go look at her she stirred, her eyes slowly fluttering open.  
  
"Who are you?" she asked groggily.  
  
"You don't remember?" Sirius feigned hurt and James just scowled when she smiled. 'Doesn't this guy have trouble at anything? Well, not everyone is going to like him. I certainly won't,' he resolved. He watched as Sirius continued, "I was the frightfully coordinated partner of yours who got all that lovely potion spilled over you," he said, oozing charm that actually seemed to work on this girl. And Lily couldn't help it, boys certainly hadn't ever flirted with her before, and she really couldn't acknowledge that he was actually flirting with her so she tried to ignore it.  
  
"Oh, is that what happened? You know, I can't remember a thing."  
  
"Of course!" he exclaimed with glee. "What else could explain you forgetting my name?" Lily just stared back at him before saying shyly. "I can think of lots of reasons why I would want to forget your name. Number one, you're in the process of giving me a dreadful headache." James had slunk behind a dresser and from there he smiled, and then quieted. Nothing changed the fact that something was just wrong about her. It scared him that she had been talking about him, yet it nudged at him, urging him to find out why. But he just ignored it, figuring it would go away, and he wouldn't have to have anything to do with this girl Lily ever again.  
  
And before Sirius could answer the voice of Madam Pomfrey came from the back room. "Lily, is that you dear, are you awake?"  
  
Lily was about to answer until Sirius clamped his hand over her mouth, crouching next to her bed. Madam Pomfrey came out through the door and Sirius ducked underneath the bed. 'If he liked detention so much,' James thought, 'he might as well throw himself out in front of her and do a jig.' Yet James crouched lower behind his dresser as well, the adrenaline rush from close calls returning as it always did. But he peeked and he saw Lily do a very good impression of waking from a very deep sleep, rubbing her eyes and yawning convincingly; enough so to make him yawn as well.  
  
Madam Pomfrey came over and sat on the side of Lily's bed, right over where Sirius was underneath. James laughed to himself and wondered how n earth Sirius was going to get himself out of this mess. 'This should be entertaining' he thought. "How do you feel now after your rest, Lily?" Madam Pomfrey asked.  
  
"Oh, just fine—OUCH!" Lily tensed and James could just see Sirius pushing at her from underneath the bed. Madam Pomfrey looked horrified.  
  
"What's wrong? Where does it hurt?" she asked frantically, obviously very distressed.  
  
"Oh, just a…um…back spasm," she said, improvising a malady. 'And not a very good one,' thought James.  
  
"A back spasm?"  
  
"Oh, yes, I get them all the time," Lily assured the frazzled nurse who didn't look too convinced.  
  
"Well then," she started slowly, "is there anything I can get for you?" the nurse asked Lily. James thought to himself, 'Something to make her leave, something to make her leave,' over and over. Thankfully, Lily had the same idea.  
  
"A glass of water would be nice."  
  
"A glass of water for your back?" the nurse asked, very confused.  
  
Lily tried rather unsuccessfully to cover the awkwardness of her request. "Well, as I said, I got these things all the time, and my mum would always give me a glass of water to…um…help with the…um…strained muscle and all that."  
  
Madam Pomfrey scrutinized her patient for a second. "Well, if you want it." And with a wave of her wand she had conjured a glass of water. Lily masked her disappointment quickly thinking up a new plan, she wanted something that would make Madam Pomfrey leave. She pushed the glass away and said, "You know, possibly that tea would be better, you know, the kind we had on the first dinner here." And before Madam Pomfrey could get in a wave with her wand Lily continued leaned back in her bed, pouting drastically and sighing theatrically and said, "and could you go down there and make sure that its done right, with just a pinch of sugar, not steeped too long, please, about two minutes maybe." James looked incredulously at this girl, 'She is smart!' he thought. 'She gave Sirius ample time to get out of here and away so that we won't get caught.' He wasn't sure that he would have come up with such a good plan.  
  
"But I thought you said that you always had water?"  
  
"Well, I never said that it worked, and besides, that tea was pretty good." Madam Pomfrey just looked at the girl, rather piteously, he noticed, and agreed, walking briskly out the door. Sirius jumped quickly from under his bed.  
  
"That was brilliant! Absolutely marvelous! Hey James," he called bringing James out of his hiding place and in front of the girl he didn't want to meet, "wasn't Lily great?"  
  
He just stared, noticing her large sparkling green eyes. "Yeah, brilliant."  
  
Sirius noticed the direction of his gaze and looked at Lily as well. She blushed under their stare. She returned to her old shy self for a moment and said quietly, "Maybe you better go."  
  
James immediately agreed and started to walk away but Sirius just stood there. "You know Lily, you look kind of good without those glasses covering up your face." And if it was possible, Lily blushed even more. She muttered a weak bye and Sirius and James turned to leave. As soon as they were out the door Sirius turned to James, "Wasn't that great? Being so close to getting caught but then pulling away in the nick of time?" And as much as he didn't want to agree, James did.  
  
"I know exactly what you mean. There was this time when I colored my neighbor prize-winning rose bushes blue. She was over at my house almost before I was and—"  
  
"That? You call that a close call? There was one time for me when…" and he continued his story while rounding the corner, James thoroughly intrigued, and the two boys becoming fast friends. When they returned to their dorm both alive their other room mates were relieved. Too bad they had absolutely no clue what was in store for them.  
  
Back in the Infirmary Lily had pulled herself out of bed, making her way over to the mirror. "I just don't understand," she said to herself. She wasn't wearing her glasses, yet she could see. Normally she was half-blind without them. But now she didn't need them at all. And then there was Sirius…  
  
What could she say about him? He was certainly a bit odd, but otherwise rather nice. His friend however, she didn't know what to make of him. "he doesn't even know who I am and he stares at me like I'm some sort of freak,' she thought sadly. 'I guess some things never change.'  
  
When she had finally hobbled the distance to the mirror she was shocked when she looked into the mirror. Her head spun and she was ambushed with flashes from her memory…  
  
Her sister and her playing…'Come on Lily, let's play princesses.'  
  
Learning to read… 'And the little engine thought, 'I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.''  
  
Her dad giving her swimming lessons… 'Don't worry Coppertop, I wont let you go. I would never let you go.'  
  
And the memories continued pleasantly, she didn't know for how long. Tears streamed down her face, the memories making her miss home more than she had ever thought that she would. And she wouldn't let herself miss home, she wouldn't. She reopened her eyes, still gazing into the mirror and suddenly grabbed her forehead in pain, falling to the floor.  
  
Two bright, yet evil eyes burned into her memory, etching themselves there permanently. She didn't know why she remembered them, from where they came. Yet she knew, she was absolutely positive they were evil. But they held no significance to her, her dream from that afternoon still locked away in slumber. Lily just gasped and fainted dead away on the floor.  
  
And that's what Madam Pomfrey found when she came back in the room.  
  
And that's when she called Dumbledore.  
  
* * *  
  
"Oh, oh Albus, I was so worried, I am so glad that you came—I didn't know what to do—she had collapsed, and, and," she paused to blow her nose loudly, for she had been sniffling and crying rather loudly.  
  
"Calm down, Poppy, I know that you became attached to Miss Evans, but really she will be fine."  
  
"Maybe Dexter didn't explain the problem clearly enough for you, she—"  
  
"I know what happened," he reassured her.  
  
"Well, I just don't see how you can be so calm about it. It's as if you aren't even upset!" she exclaimed rather hotly. She had indeed grown fond of Lily, and Albus just didn't seem to care.  
  
"Why of course I'm not upset."  
  
"What?"  
  
"It's a wonderful opportunity," he added with a small smile.  
  
"An opportunity? An opportunity!?! Her life will never be the same!"  
  
"Do you know of her home life? Do you know of her life as of now?" And Madam Pomfrey couldn't say that she did. "How many visitors did she have?"  
  
"Well, none."  
  
"Any redirected mail from home that was sent up?"  
  
"No." She spoke more weakly this time, it seemed more and more that the Headmaster was right. But he wasn't right about saying it was an opportunity. No, that was not right.  
  
"Any get well soon cards?"  
  
"Honestly Albus! Its just the first week of school, she isn't supposed to know the entire school," she snapped  
  
"But surely her roommates noticed. She's been in the Infirmary for more than a week."  
  
"Maybe they were too shy to visit," she tried to counter, wishing for the girl's sake that Albus wasn't right. He just sighed, and they both knew that he was right. "But surely you will give her some lessons, or at least try to contain it."  
  
"She will be spelled at all times, and watched as well."  
  
"But, you are powerful enough to remove it, I know you are."  
  
"Ah yes, but I do believe this will do Miss Evans some good."  
  
Madam Pomfrey looked gravely at him. "There might be an accident, you know what could happen if there was one." He looked down, acknowledging the risk.  
  
"Yes, I understand completely. But there will be no accidents. She will be too well protected."  
  
"You can't be one hundred percent sure on something like this Albus, there might be an accident." When he didn't respond to her she continued, "You will at least tell the child wont you?" Again, there was no response. "You must be joking! If she doesn't even know, how will we prevent it, how will we prevent anything? What can we do if something happens?"  
  
"Something won't happen," he replied surely.  
  
She looked him square in the eyes and whispered, "But what if there is?"  
  
"If there is, well then, we will certainly be in for a ride, now wont we?"  
  
* * *  
  
Lily returned to her classes the next day, Madam Pomfrey had told her rather gruffly that the Headmaster had deemed it appropriate. She muddled through her morning classes, surprised at how much work she had missed in only a little more than a week. The biggest problem was when she returned to Herbology. Professor Kettleburn walked up to her and from the look on his face Lily knew right away that something was wrong.  
  
"Lily, I'm so glad to see you all better again," he said, sounding suspiciously like he was avoiding something more important.  
  
"Thank you Professsor Kettleburn," she answered.  
  
"Now, this is hard to say, because I've never made a mistake in my teaching before, and I'm sorry to say that the first one isn't something small." Lily looked at him disbelievingly, 'Well, there goes any shred of doubt I had about him not having bad news.'  
  
"You probably realized how your Greeblypuff didn't exactly, er, take to you as the others did." Lily though rebelliously back, 'Oh no, really, I thought the little fur ball actually liked me and just didn't know how to show it. That would be why it bit me.' Needless to say, she wasn't in a very good mood.  
  
"Well, that's because your Greeblypuff wasn't actually a baby anymore. It had matured and so it had already started to move away from you, it's 'mother', and rejected you. Teenage years," he added with a small laugh. When she didn't laugh along he cleared his throat and continued. "So that's why your Greeblypuff wasn't as affectionate as the others."  
  
Finally Lily spoke up. "I don't see much of a problem with that, Professor. It means that the Greeblypuff has already been weaned so there shouldn't be any problem. I did try to catch up a bit on reading while I was in the Infirmary."  
  
"Did you ever find out the one thing your Greeblypuff needs in order to change to the next stage in their development?"  
  
"No," she replied. "I couldn't find that anywhere and I weren't allowed to go down to the Library."  
  
"Well, when a Greeblypuff grows up in the wild its mother takes care of it more three weeks after its birth, nurturing it, caring for it, pampering it. But during the fourth week the mother must nip off the very tip of each Greeblypuff's left ear." Lily gasped but the Professor quickly reassured her, "It doesn't hurt them. If you remember I told you how perceptive the Greeblypuffs are, well, they are that much immune to any physical pain." This calmed Lily down but she was still wary, somehow this was important to her and she didn't wasn't to know why.  
  
"If their ear isn't nipped then they stay with the mother forever, growing with it and never leaving for very long or going very far." Lily suddenly had a sinking feeling…  
  
"You were gone for a week and once the Greeblypuff had come into contact with you it thought you were its mother and no one else could get near it. In other words, its ear was not nipped, and I'm afraid that you now have a new little pet. Your Greeblypuff has been pining away for you, but I have it right here." It sprang from the bag he had been keeping it in and into her arms, nestled itself there.  
  
"But Professor, I don't even know how to take care of it!" she exclaimed. He pulled something else from his bag and handed it to her. It was a book. The Art of Greeblypuffing, the title read. 'Honestly, what sort of word is that, Greeblypuffing.' But she accepted the book as the Professor rattled on his apologies and how she could devote herself to her Greeblypuff studies instead on coming regularly to classes for just a little bit. She could make up the classes in the afternoon, or flip it and take classes with him on how to raise her new companion which would take a considerable amount of work.  
  
Oh joy.  
  
That was the only thing that ran through her mind, with bucketfuls of sarcasm to accompany it. She didn't hear Professor Kettlburn mutter and point his wand at her when she left, and she didn't hear his parting comment. "An extrasensory girl and a Greeblypuff to go with her. Well, I suppose wonders never cease." His spell was to last until her next class, and she was given extra time to get to class. All the teachers had heard about her predicament from Dumbledore the other day, and he felt badly giving her this extra responsibility. But she knew that she was capable, and she was up to the challenge. 'She should be perfectly fine,' he thought.  
  
'How did I ever get stuck doing a thing like this?' was more along the lines of what Lily was thinking at that point. She carried him (for it was a he, according to the Professor, the big ugly idiot) for awhile back up to the castle, she was to set to work right away, but after awhile her Greeblypuff started to hop, dancing around her feet, playful as an ocean breeze. She couldn't help but laugh. She scooped him up again and looked at him, "Now what am I going to name you?"  
  
As she entered the castle she thought of a new name with every step up the stairs. There were lots of steps.  
  
"Whitey"  
  
"Happy"  
  
"Funny"  
  
"Cutsie-pie"  
  
"Fuzzy"  
  
"Hoppy"  
  
"Flopsy"  
  
"Mopsy"  
  
She stopped on the stair and thought to herself, 'I might as well throw Cottontail in for all the luck I'm having. I'll just have to decide later.' And she certainly wasn't about to name her Greeblypuff one of those names. It would be degrading for the both of them. So she just continued quickly to the Library, getting only minimal resistance from the librarian. She seemed to have wanted to say something then stopped.  
  
She sat herself down in one of the Library chairs and opened the huge volume the Professor had given her. Thankfully, he had made it simply trail behind her on her trudge back inside from Greenhouse 6, but if he was trying to compensate for sticking her with her little ball of fluff she wasn't about to buy it. As much as the little animal was cute he was still a nuisance. But she couldn't just leave him so with a heave she opened the first page to The Art of Greeblypuffing. The title made her cringe but she began to read, making it all the way through the introduction. The kept mentioning the Pink Flame but she didn't really understand it much, or really at all. The she decided that she might as well go to the Species section, for there were supposedly many different variations of the Greeblypuff.  
  
Her Greeblypuff was supposedly of the species balduvet ordinarius, according to Professor Kettleburn, otherwise the most basic form of the Greeblypuff. She found her species listed with a picture next to the explanation and her little Greeblypuff went berserk bouncing all over the pages, thinking that they were all real. Lily just sighed and read.  
  
Balduvet ordinarius is the most basic type of Greeblypuff. They require the least amount of attention from all other branches of the Greeblypuff family. They have long ears of the color of their mother and a white belly covered more sparsely than the fur on the rest of its body. Such is the fur that is required for handling the Pink Flame (read more on page 2,065). While weaning the mother may leave, a quality that applies to only one other species, but the young Greeble (the term used for a Greeblypuff not yet weaned) will become more dependent on the mother later on. This species of Greeblypuff is defined by its slightly longer ears, its tendency to be rounder in shape and its very pure white underbelly, as mentioned before.  
  
Lily looked at the hyper ball of fluff that was prancing all over the Library table. It certainly wasn't that attached to her, at least not as much as the book made it seem like he should be. The ears weren't especially long either. Lily stared at the book again, 'Well, with a word like Greeblypuffing in the title,' she thought disdainfully, 'how can I count on it to be reliable at all?'  
  
She did a bit more reading, flipping to the page where they talked about the Pink Flame that was mentioned. But she couldn't understand it all at because it kept referencing things from other places in the book. If she was going to understand it she was going to have to read the entire thing.  
  
She didn't want to know about it that badly.  
  
And so she continued her classes that day, becoming very amused when Professor Pravus tried to detain her pet. She handed over a signed note explaining the circumstances of her unusual tag-along. He got a little bug- eyed and Sirius gave her a large grin when she sat down. She found that she had become drastically behind in Potions, and the Professor took advantage of that by asking her questions she didn't know the answer to and then taking points from Gryffindor. It left her very upset at the end of the day and she left the classroom sorrowfully. 'I'm going to catch up if it kills me!' she thought determinedly. 'And then professor Pravus and that stupid boy Blake will have to eat their words.' Thinking of Blake again just fueled her more, 'I'll curse the pants off of him! I'll embarrass him the way he embarrassed me.'  
  
And for the second time that day she sat herself down in front of a large book. She studied intensely that night, and the next, and the next. She started to surprise her teachers by answering so often in class and speaking up as often as she could. Sure, she might have acting a little bit like a know-it-all, but it also gave her more confidence than she had ever had before. People actually came to her to ask for help with their homework, and they didn't pretend not to know her afterwards. People had done that before, taken advantage of her. But it had turned out they really didn't like her at all.  
  
Now, however, she had friends. She had become closer to her four roommates than she had ever been with her sister. They had no notions of popularity or unpopularity, and where Lily usually fell on the social step ladder. Aileene, Eleanor, Cara, Veronica, and Meagan and Lily had become their own little group, and Lily had never felt more a part of anything in her life. She had her friends to occupy her time, and even when strange things started to happen she paid less and less attention to them.  
  
Sometimes, if she closed her eyes tightly or took a firm grip onto something she wouldn't notice these odd things. She stopped having a footstep blast in her ears, or a simple spell of 'Lumos' partially blind her, and most thankfully she wasn't smelling the bathroom that was inhabited by Moaning Myrtle, a very depressed and loud ghost, from five corridors away. She didn't even think that Filch, the custodian and all around rule enforcer ventured into that bathroom. Yes, being relieved of that horrible smell was something she was thankful for.  
  
And she still continued to do better in her classes and to make more friends, though she still retained some of her old ways like reading constantly. Sometimes you could even catch her pulling at her hair and pushing at the bridge of her nose then see a look of realization dawn on her as she remembered that she no longer used glasses. And while some things about her refused to change other aspects of her personality bloomed. Never before had she been mischievous or daring, but they ended up showing themselves in full splendor. She finally did curse the pants off of Blake—literally. She had crept along with Eleanor and Veronica into Blake's dorm and had frozen him from behind then blindfolding him. They had then proceeded to steal his boxers, letting them wave in front of the Great Hall until McGonagall fussily took them down.  
  
Lily was actually rather proud of herself for that (though she still managed to blush whenever anyone congratulated her), she had heard some Slytherin boys talking about it from around the corner, one asking the other for the password to the Common Room. And Lily had recruited her two friends to go on a hunt for revenge, for even though Lily hadn't told them the story from the train (she planned that she never would) they had been trained on the older students stories of 'the horrible Slytherins' and were glad to make fun of one of them.  
  
Even more people knew who she was after that, though she was by no way extremely popular. And the weeks passed by, the first flakes of winter fell as the Christmas break approached, signaling an approaching return trip to the home that she had been attached to for so many years and was beginning to pull at her heart with a dull ache, much as she refused to accept that she wanted to go back. Because she really did love it at Hogwarts, she really did. It sounded sappy, but she thought of it as a dream. And every so often she had to take the time to just sit by the Common Room fire and read a book, taking in all that was around her, sitting and thinking, and finding it gratifying that people liked her for just being who she was—simply Lily.  
  
* * *  
  
Yay! How did you guys like that? Good, don't you think? It's by far he longest chapter that I have ever written for either of my two fics (check out Lily's Problems if you haven't already ;) I just wanted to thank you all for being so patient, and for all the reviews. Also, I have come up with a new posting system so that I can figure out how hard to work on this by the readers because that just makes more sense. Plus it tells me if people are actually liking the fics or not. (I was so happy with the reviews I got for the last chapter, 24! I love you guys!) Anyway, heres the deal:  
  
65 reviews or three weeks. Whichever comes first, that's when I will post.  
  
I am just going to try it and see how it works out. And keep in mind that I have exams in about three weeks so if it is one or two days late that will just have to be tolerated, I am very sorry :(  
  
NOTES ON THIS FIC:  
  
The Potions Professor has a rather interesting name, I used an online English-Latin dictionary so there might be some weird complications. This name might reveal something about his personality and his role in the future. Hmmm, I wonder what his middle name is?  
  
And moving on to the Greeblypuff and its species name. Now I take French so I know that bal means ball. And I went looking through my French Dictionary and found that duvet had a rather interesting meaning. Could you guess? Well, it means fuzz, so it basically means fuzball ; ) Don't you think that's cute?  
  
Well, that's it, now just on to the thanks. If you haven't been up to date on my other fic you wont have seen my change in policy in the reviews. I will only respond back to those who I think I should, because I am really pressed for time right about now. But, especially for this chapter I will  
  
Arwen ~ You know me too well! You completely called it, about the glasses and her 'special senses' (which we haven't seen the last of, as I'm sure you can tell) Anyway, thanks for being such an AWESOME reviewer, and I cant wait for HP and the MW! (I know, I know, I'm lazy, but I felt like abbreviating it!)  
  
Britz ~ YAY! Thanks so much for the reviews, the e-mails and everything. I LOVE getting them (especially because you are so nice!) I hope you are satisfied with this chapter after your request for having them longer, its 5,500+ words! Arent you proud, lol? Anyway, luv ya and much thanx!  
  
Cquill13 ~ thanks for reviewing ALL my fics, even that weird English essay. *hugs for cquill* YAY! Anyway, this will be all seven years, maybe five or six chapters a year, but my first priority is Lily's Problems. I'm really sorry this took so long but I hope that you like it!  
  
Parselmouth Majere ~ Did I get your name right? I hope so, anyway, I just was so happy at how you related to this fic. We all feel alone sometimes, I know. I'm glad that you liked it so much, and I hope this chapter is just as good!  
  
Psycheme ~ I cant believe that you think Lily's character is *brilliant* Wow… I cant believe it, I hope that Lily's character change is just as believable, please tell me how to fix it if it isn't!  
  
Stardust Firebolt ~ Thanks for the praise on the Sorting Song, I worked really hard on that and not many people seemed to even notice it ;( Lily in this story is not the same as in Lily's Problems, they are different and I already have most of this planned through her seventh year, though 5th and 6th are a little hazy. Thanks for the review!  
  
Xaviera Xylira ~ Wow! Thanks so much for the great review, I really appreciate it, really I do! This fic will have more romance than my other fic because thankfully I have planned it that way and wont hae to change the plot like I did for Lily's Problems just to put in the teensiest bit! And I just checked out your fic and I feel like a horrible person for not reviewing which I should have done before this is posted. ARg, Im getting my times screwed up! Anyway, thanks for reviewing!  
  
And to Angel, Lindsey, Kim, and Sarah, who I all e-mailed about the update, thanks for letting me clutter your inbox and thanks for reviewing the fic in the first place!  
  
Well, that about does it. Remember, if you want it sooner you can just review! 


	4. Powers Unfolding

Chapter 4 ~ Powers Unfolding

For the first time since she had been let out of the Infirmary weeks and weeks ago Lily threatened to fall asleep in class.  The most boring class on earth: History of Magic, taught by the old, wrinkled, weathered Professor Binns.  He sort of resembles a shirt left to sit in the washing machine too long, she thought in her half-conscious state.  Was she honestly supposed to be able to pay attention to the Professor when there was freshly fallen snow outside, and only a few more hours left until the holiday break?  Professor Binns was just rattling on about magic in the 5th century and some kook name Aladrius Mlafma that she could really care less about.  

Her Greeblypuff gave a little yelp, or rather, an extremely loud an obnoxious yelp, as had become customary to it, drawing the attention of the Professor to it, and to it's owner's head resting on a desk.  The Professor let out a dissatisfied sigh before continuing on with his discussion about some important discovery or another, his devotion to the useless discoveries of the past canceling out any care towards whether or not his students were paying attention.  Seeing as Lily had learned this rather early on, being as attentive as she usually was, she just nestled her head back comfortably in her arms in her seat in the back of the classroom.  She was unfavorably close to James and Sirius—sure troublemakers in any class, whether or not it was as boring as History of Magic.

There was a small poke on her forehead and Lily grumbled.  "Lily," an annoying voice whispered, followed by another poke.  "Lily," the voice taunted.  She slowly cracked one eye open, only to witness Sirius' maniacal grin.  "Is someone a little sleepy?" he asked sarcastically.

She didn't answer.  He didn't deserve one.

She gladly left History of Magic that day, hurrying more than normal and got in early for Charms, her last class of the day.  But even her new favorite class could do nothing to bring her out of her slump, even Professor Flitwick had to remind her to pay attention to her chagrin.  And so she was very, very happy to retire to her room that afternoon, her friends to witness her collapse onto her bed only to promptly pick up a book and start to read.  

"Lily, don't you ever _not read?" asked Veronica playfully._

"Sure," she said nonchalantly while flipping the page.  "When I sleep."

"Really?  You sleep?" Eleanor added mischievously.  Eleanor didn't take kindly to books.  One of her textbooks had mysteriously appeared stuck to the ceiling of the Gryffindor common room.  It wouldn't come down.  She didn't particularly want it to.

"Of course I sleep," she reassured rather defensively for lack of anything better to say. 

"Oh, don't be upset," Meagan called from her bed.  "We just don't understand how you can read so much."

 "I beginning not to see how either, what with you guys interrupting me all the time," Lily grumbled, not really upset at all.

"Ok, we get the drift, we'll shut up," Cara said.  "Widdle Lilly-willy needs her west!" Cara said with a bounce on Lily's bed, Cara was an interminable bundle of energy.

"Cara!" Lily shrieked, giggling.

"What?  Can't hear you!"  Bounce… bounce…bounce, went her bed, Lily still giggling, her book now laying facedown on the floor.

"Ok, ok, I give up!  I give up! Just stop!" Lily pleaded.

"Oi!  Veronica, you think I should stop?"  Veronica shook her head devilishly.

"Aileene, what do you think?" Cara asked to their other roommate who had been silent so far.

"Bounce harder, it'll be good for her," she said before rolling over on her bed and burying her face in her pillow.  Lily wished she could have been in her place.  But Cara obliged, and Lily bounced more than a good foot off her bed each time, being as small as she was.

But now she was also half-crippled with laughter, scrunched up in the fetal position while bouncing in the air.  "Please…_please…Cara, stop!  Stop!  Please—" And all of a sudden Lily was on the floor, and she had hit it hard._

"Oops," said Cara, racked with fake guilt.  It might have fooled Lily, for her head was still half-implanted in the floor, but Cara started to laugh and the rest if her roommates were soon to join in.  It was a few more seconds before Lily managed to utter a feeble, "Ouch."

"Wasn't that just a tad delayed, Lily?" Cara asked, now fully occupying Lily's bed.

"I can't exactly help it.  I think you destroyed half of my brain cells," Lily said, looking the part, her eyes slightly out of focus and the rest of her body entirely limp. 

"Well, I was just trying to get you to lighten up," Cara said, as innocently as she was, which is to say she was grinning like the devil.

"Well, you lightened me to two feet off my bed!" Lily joked, finally managing to pull herself off the ground.

"It's nice to know I've done my job," Cara grinned.

"For you, perhaps," Veronica interjected.  "Lily doesn't seem too happy."

"I don't? Because really I am, I just happen to hide it very well."  What was all bitterness before Hogwarts was slowly but surely transforming to amused sarcasm, and in situations like these, not few and far between in the first year girls' dorm, Lily's comments went to keep the dorm lively, though she hardly saw it that way.  As much as she felt a part of something, she couldn't see it that way.  She still couldn't trust.  Almost eleven years of inner torment couldn't be erased that quickly.

"Ooooh, we can go down to dinner now," Aileene said, always a fan of Hogwarts dinner, with the fast metabolism that allowed her to eat as much as she wanted.  She quickly jumped out of bed and opened the door.  "Are you all coming?"

"I'll go," said Lily.  "At least the day is over.  And then we have holiday break, at last."  For as much as she didn't want to admit it she still missed her home terribly.  It was the only place that she had ever felt remotely safe.  But now she was different, and her family was different, too, without her there.  Before she had left her family chemistry had been simple at first glance, everyone getting along on top, Lily, for one, not getting along far, far underneath, but content nonetheless.  Content because she knew nothing else, nothing better.  But she didn't know that she was facing anything.  And the next day she was to go home happy, not expecting anything at all.

And she was going to get the surprise of her life.

* * *

"Sirius!  Would you get off me?"  Lily practically screamed.

"What, everybody's comfy, right?" he asked.   It was a bad, bad question.  Lily, Veronica, Cara, Meagan, Aileene, and Eleanor were already squished like gum on a sidewalk in their small compartment on the Hogwarts Express.  There was absolutely no free space left when they all finally managed to get comfortable.  And then Sirius came in.  He found only the smallest amount of free space, after completely dislocating all the girls, of course, and was in the process of wedging himself tightly in it.  Lily was one of the fortunate to be right next to him.  She was not happy.  None of the other girls were quite happy either, except for Aileene, who was taking it all rather calmly. The fact was, Lily was pressed up against the wall and it was beginning to hurt.  And so she wasn't exactly pleasant to be around, to say the least.

"Sirius Black!  Would you _please just get yourself out of my face, and out of this compartment!" she yelled, drawing all the noise from the rest of the compartment in her vocal chords and blasting in his face.  Her friends looked on awed.  Lily was __pissed._

"Now why would I want to do that?" he asked.

"I don't know, would you rather spend the rest of the trip with me?" Lily threatened.  She could tell that maybe even the girls were wishing they could leave now.

"Of course I would, that's why I came here in the first place," he answered back, grinning.

"Well, where's your little posse?  You know, those other boys in your dorm.  You're attached at the hip!" Lily quipped.

"James and I had a disagreement," he said shortly.

"Well, suck up your stupid pride and get back in there with him because we don't want you!" Aileene look like she was stifling a comment and the others just looked on, seeing how much longer Sirius would last.

"Now there's the old compassionate Lily!  The one who was nice, and kind, and understanding.  How have you been?" he tried once again joke his way out of the situation and into the compartment.  Lily just tried again to get him to leave, adding another attempt to her rapid succession of failures.

"Oh, stuff it Sirius," she said, finally breaking down and grinning.  "Just stay.  Feeling in all my limbs will return soon, I hope."  As soon as she said it the train lurched and Lily was thrown into the wall yet again.  She pushed against the wall with all her might to get Sirius off of her.  Soon they were settled again, though Lily had an odd tingling in her fingers.  "Hey, Sirius, the snack cart is coming down the hall.  If you go out now you can beat everyone else to it."

Sirius popped up.  "Oh! I think I'll get some Chocolate Frogs, and some Bernie Botts—Susan will love those, and maybe a Pumpkin Pasty as well…" the list continued as his voice was cut off by the closing door.

"Lily," said Eleanor, "that was low."

"Yeah, you knew he couldn't resist sweets!" Meagan agreed.  Cara nodded, stretching her neck, she was on Sirius' other side.  Meagan, veronica, and Eleanor, luckily, each had a seat to themselves on the other side if the compartment.

"I don't think it was very fair, he was just in a fight with his best friend!" said Aileene rationally.  "And if he came to us, well, just think, he's really must be looking for the last resort."  Lily just sniggered, but the truth was, for whatever odd reason, she really had thought that the snack cart was down the hall.  She had just…_felt it somehow, in some way she could explain or comprehend.  She just __knew._

"Lily, really, you shouldn't laugh!" said Veronica, laughing herself.

"I wasn't laughing!" she said.  "Okay, maybe I was.  But I'm going to go find Sirius' little gang and find out what's up with them and Sirius.  See you all later!" And Lily was out the door.  

"Finally some peace and quiet!" said Cara, and they all stared.  "What? What?"

"From you of all people," said Aileene.

"Well, we know that you're just pining away for Sirius while he out there tracking down the imaginary snack cart, but _really Aileene—"The door banged open._

"Hey, guess what?  I was the first one out there and I got just tons of snacks.  Seeing as you were all so nice as to let me share your compartment, I'll share all this with you," Sirius entered, sweets and snacks dripping form his arms.  The girls mouths were gaping a little, Well, Lily was just lucky, I suppose, they all thought, surprised.

"Hey, where's Lily gone to?" Sirius asked. Before Eleanor could open her mouth to lie for her friend Aileene accidentally answered him instead.

"She went to the boys' compartment to get the dish on the fight," she said, examining the bag of Bernie Botts.  And Eleanor immediately thought that Aileene had made a mistake, but from the look on Sirius' face he seemed as cool as a cucumber.  Too bad he wasn't.

"I just have to go to the bathroom and I'll be right back," he said, depositing his stuff on the seat.  Cara just shoved it over and put her feet up and snuggled into a comfortable position, the other three girls having three seats as there was a closet on Cara's side, making it only have two seats.  Thoroughly comfortable with the new situation Cara said, "Well then, all the more room for me!"

* * *

"Lily!" Sirius called down the hallway to her.  He had found her even though she had gotten a head start.  But he knew where the boys' compartment was, and she didn't, and so he had caught up.

Lily turned sharply when she heard Sirius' voice, she had to concentrate to find the boys' compartment.  She knew it was close by, just a bit further now…but Sirius had broken her concentration.

"Sirius!" she hissed, trying to get him to shut up.  She should have known better.

"What?" he exclaimed loudly.  "I have rights to wander around the train just as much as you do."  Was it a boy's purpose to be contrary, she thought sullenly, or just Sirius'?  "What are doing here anyways?" he said again, even louder.

"I'm finding out what's keeping you in our compartment instead of with the boys where you belong!" Lily hissed, trying to be quiet.

"Oh, no need to be quiet, they're still three down," he added, waving his hand in the direction he had implied.

"Very funny, their compartment is right here," Lily said pointing to the door next to them.  But the doors were very resistant to sound, the boys inside wouldn't be able to hear them anyway.  The funny thing was Lily really hadn't been sure that that was the boys' compartment at all, not until she had said it anyway.  And Sirius' faltering grin just added to her conviction.

"They've locked the door and you can't hear in.  Plus, we aren't allowed to do magic over the holidays, you know that," he added grimly.  Lily nodded too, but suddenly she heard James' voice drifting through the door.

"No Remus, we will not forgive him!  He was the one who did this to you anyways!"

"I know how it is.  He's just scared of me.  I _am a freak," he said sorrowfully.  Lily frowned.  Remus had always seemed so nice, yet she hardly knew him.  _

"Yeah, but we don't care!" Peter said helpfully.

"I know.  But I'm just sick and tired of people hating me!" he suddenly lashed out.

"Remus, be quiet man," James hushed him and Lily crept closer to the door.

"You're never going to be able to hear them," Sirius said, vexed with her and vexed with himself.

"Shush!  You're never going to get your friends back if you don't let me listen," she finished simply while Sirius just stared.  She had missed part of the conversation while Sirius had interrupted her.  She turned to listen again.

"We shouldn't be friends with him anymore," Peter offered.

"Yeah," James answered the same time Remus said, "No!"  After a pause he continued.  "Just give him a chance you guys.  Maybe he'll come around."  Another moment passed, two.

"Fine," came James' reluctant agreement.  Peter agreed too.  James continued, "When we see Sirius we'll allow him to explain himself and give him another chance."

"Fine," agreed Peter.

"You're in luck, Sirius.  They are going to give you another chance, whatever it is that you did," Lily told him.  Sirius sighed heavily, and on an impulse Lily turned to look at the lock on the door, they were just like the ones in her house, cheap and simple.  Brandishing the key to the lock on her trunk she had kept in her pocket Lily slowly turned to picking the lock.

"Lily!" Sirius gaped at her in amazement.  "What are you doing?"

"Getting you that chance," she replied, noticing inwardly that the boys talk had stopped.

"Where'd you learn to do that?"  Lily paused in her work to give him a reproving look.

"Sirius, I have a sister," was the simple reply.

"Oh."  Sirius obviously didn't understand.  Shy or not, Lily and Petunia waged war at home.  Lily had often taken use of her cherished journal key just for the purpose of breaking into her sister's room.  With locks like these the key you used didn't really matter, she had learned from experience.  The locked clicked.  She opened the door and walked in.

They just stared at her.

"I took the liberty of breaking into your compartment because one of your little clan members took it upon himself to invade mine."  Sirius grinned sheepishly, James snickered at Lily's upset face.  "So, I've decided he's staying with you, bye!" before they worked out what she had said she quickly exited the compartment and made for her own, locking it.

Cara groaned when Lily made her move her feet. "Back so soon?" Cara asked, not at all pleased.

"Yes," Lily said, only wishing to enjoy the trip home. The sleep that followed was a sign of her exhaustion.  She grumbled when the train finally stopped, but truly she was happy at the chance to see her parents again, and maybe even her sister too.  She bounded off the train, grabbing her trunk and hauling it outside to meet her parents where they had agreed in a previous letter.  People stared at her and she stated to notice how nobody came near her, odd in the usually crowded streets.  Her old self-consciousness returned full throttle.  She sat on her trunk, dejected, thoughts of abandonment and a Christmas alone haunted her.  

It had only been ten minutes.  Ten minutes out of Hogwarts and she was back to her old self.  Ten minutes and all the self-confidence she had built up crumple to the floor.

"Oh dear Lord…" she heard from her side, and looked up.

"Mum!" she shouted and made her way to hug her.  But she just backed away from Lily.

"Henry, Henry dear!" Lily's mum called, still backing away.  Lily's father walked up just as the tears started prickling in her eyes. He stopped short when he saw his daughter.

"Lily, just get in the car," he ordered.  "Quickly."  She turned to pick up her bags but was stopped.  "I'll get them.  Maria, just take her to the car," he said forcefully.  She was whimpering.

"Come on, Lily," she said quietly. She started to offer her hand but withdrew.  Lily had started to cry now, and was attracting a scene.  

"Maria, get her to go with you!" her father growled.

"Lily, please," her mother begged.  In a burst of anger she walked right up to her mother and gripped her hand tightly.  Her other yelped, strangled the inevitable other cries and pulled.  Hard.

She was dragged to the car and hurriedly shut inside.  Her parents argued outside the car. Lily was crying so badly that she only caught snippets of the conversation.

"we cant—"

"But no—"

"She's not! "

"our daughter—"

"the filthy magic—"

"she can't tell!"

"green with—"

Lily couldn't listen anymore.  What's wrong? she thought desperately.  They hate me now.  Her parents returned to the car with strained smiles.

"Sorry, Lily.  We were in a rush.  We thought Petunia had a dance lesson," her dad said.  But they could have told me that, she thought.  They are lying to me. 

"But then we remembered she didn't," her mother replied, looking at her dad forcefully.  Lily just nodded.

Something was wrong.  Something was very wrong.

But she didn't say a word about it or anything else the entire ride home.  Neither did her parents.  She just went up to her room, slamming the door, something she had never done before, and ran to her bathroom.  She splashed water on her face, wanting herself to stop crying, to pretend it was all right. She cradled her face in her hands as she sat on the closed toilet seat.  My family hates me, she thought passionately.  I just wish I could go back.  

She had longed to be home again, but when she got there it was all wrong!  Had she changed so much that she would never fit in anywhere, stuck between the two worlds?  Soon she became too depressed to even cry.  She sat up, laughing at the thought of what she must look like.  When she looked in the mirror she saw a lot worse than a pair of reddened eyes.

She gasped, realizing what had driven her parents away, realizing the cause of the disturbed looks she had received while she had waited.  The most fear-ridden scream the Evans' had ever heard told them that their daughter had found out.    She leaned into the mirror, touching her face, her arms, her hands.  They were all the same, all filthy with the stain.

For she glowed, brilliantly yet dimly, with a ghostly bright green light.

She didn't know of the Killing Curse and she wasn't familiar with the color it produced.  If she had been she might have wondered why that same color was infiltrating her body, the color of killing running her through and through.

* * *

Okay, I hoped you all liked this chapter.  I'm going to cut this short for time constraints ;)  This was rushed so I'm simply going to be asking for more reviews this time.  100 seems like a long shot but its only ten more than last time.  And remember, I'm going into exams soon so I really cant help it f it's a day or two late.  I might not even be checking ff.net, just to keep my mind on my schoolwork.  Also **I GOT SUPPORT SERVICES which means that I can tell if you read this, I get a hit count.  So you have absolutely no excuse not to review!  You heard me!  Review! Oh, and if you want to see what I look like there is a rather bad picture of me on my profile.  All notices on my fanfics will be up there, okay?  So check back occasionally.**

Okay, I came back to edit this and add in something about the lock picking.  Let me just say that this is straight from my life, okay?  The locks for my room and my sister's room (she is about two years older than me) can be picked with any key you might happen to have.  And I fully believe that Lily would attack her sister because as much as she is shy, they _are sisters.  And me and my sister got along fine, but that didn't mean that I didn't break into her room all the time.  Was I a horrible child?  Possibly… ;)_

Anyway, I just had to add that in, back to our regularly scheduled programming with: Thank-yous to reviewers!

Bon ~ I tried to make the Greeblypuff sound cute, I'm glad you think he is.  Sort of like an overstuffed animated furbie ;) Thanks!

Britz ~ Thanks for reviewing _again! I always look forward to your reviews, you know, they are the greatest.  I've redone my profile, if you want to take a look, and I added a little something to your story link that I think you'll appreciate!  _

Cheekycharliebk ~ I'm glad you liked it!  I don't have a younger sibling, but I am one so I know what a pain they can be.  Thanks for reading my fic anyway.

Cquill13 ~ I just searched English-latin dictionary at yahoo to get one, there are a bunch.  Thanks for all the amazing reviews!

Dynamte Rave ~ yes, **you were the lucky number 65!  Congrats, and congrats of your fic too, its awesome.  Hope you like this chapter as well ;)**

Hannah ~ lily's condition will be revealed later on.  You still haven't been told what's going on yet, but little by little it will come out.  Thanks so much for all the reviews!

Kaeera ~ Wow! Thanks for the reviews!  Sadly, evelyn & co. wont be in this fic, I've just decided it to be that way.  But her new friends, as you can see, are still quite a handful ;) 

Le Chat Qui Garde le Lune ~ Thanks for your offer with the French, but I should be okay.  I know enough to get me by ;)  but boy I wish I had you sitting next to me in my French exam tht I have in two weeks, lol.  Thanks again!

Lethal ~ Hm, what do I say to you ;)  Did you read the note at the top of my profile yet?  Lol, you got me working hard!  I suppose next time I'll just have to ask for ore reviews ;)  Toodles *grin*

Lupin2087 ~ I'm glad that you like this one as well!  I will post to Lily's Problems as soon as I can, I promise! Thanks again ;)

MmmMmmGood ~  So, you like the idea of petunia being good?  I have an idea for a fic that's really like that. I probably wont be posting that soon, though,  I have my hands full ;)  Thanks for the review!

Pampered Tigress ~  Thankyou! Thankyou Thankyou Thankyou Thankyou Thankyou Thankyou Thankyou!!!!!! Lol *grin*

Parselmouth Majere ~ Wow, I cant believe you think this is like a book *beams* you are so nice!  Thanks so much for the review, I'll get out chapter 17 for LP asap!

Psycheme ~ Yay! I'm glad you liked the idea of a back spasm.  I thought that maybe it was just my twisted sense of humor that made me think it was funny, not that your sense of humor is twisted ;) j/k, thanks for the review!

Time Twins ~ I'm so glad you like her normal, that's what I was going for.  However, she won't stay completely normal for long, but it will be interesting, I promise! Thanx!

Tokyo's Angel ~ Thanks so much for the reviews!  I love it when people come back.  Well this is sooner than I would have liked but I hope that you like it anyway.

Tsunami ~ I hoped that you liked this chapter as well!  ^_^ (yay! I copied your little face you put in the review!  Its so cute!)

Wolf of Solitude ~ No I haven't put in Lily's condition yet, but you'll find out soon enough!  Thanks for the review!

Xaviera (and echo) ~ Your review cracked me up, I just loved it!  It was a **superb review ;)**

Oh, and in case there are people who have read this fic and not my other, I just wanted to let you know that it is my policy to review you if you review me.  I will put in the same amount of effort as you do, just to be fair.  And currently (this is an add-on to the original posting, btw) it is January 9th, four days after I posted this, and there have been 52 hits from members and 13 reviews.  Sound a little off to you?  Well, it does to me too.  So **REVIEW everyone, and I will try asap to review you in return ;)  Toodles!**


	5. Mysteries Abound

Chapter 5 ~ Mysteries Abound

"Lily! Lily, dear, open up the bathroom door right now!" her father yelled from outside her bathroom.  

"Please, Lily, just open up," her mother pleaded as well.  "We know you're scared, but please don't lock us out here."  Lily wasn't about to open the door.  I can't believe they didn't want to tell me, she thought bitterly.  I can't believe they thought they could hide it.   She thought of how her skin had issued a green tint.  As if they really _could hide it, she thought again.  I look like a side act in a freak show._

She looked in the mirror again.  Now she could see the ghostly green glow, but when she simply looked at herself she saw nothing.  But Mum and Dad saw it with no help, she thought.  What _is going on?  How come they can see it and I can't?_

"Lily," her father warned again.  "I'm going to have to open this door whether you like it or not."  It would be simple, she knew, to pick the lock on the door. Hadn't her years of practice been shown true on the train?  But her father struggled.  He was an only child, after all. 

"Excuse me," said an unfamiliar voice.  "Picking locks is quite unnecessary."  But that tone of voice seemed so familiar, yet so out of place.  Some words were muffled by the bathroom door; they all seemed to be talking at once.  But her father's raised voice finally prevailed and Lily could follow the conversation again, and she did, listening intently.

"Who are you?  You can't just barge into someone else's house like this!  What are you—"

"_Alohomora!" The door swung open slowly, revealing Lily sitting on the toilet seat and looking stunned. _

"Professor McGonagall?" she asked dubiously.  She couldn't believe that the professor was standing right here, in her Muggle home.  Her parents looked confused as to who exactly this person was.  But there was no denying it; she just had to be Professor McGonagall.  

"What is wrong with Lily?" her mother asked. "Why is she… the way she is?"  She can't even say it, Lily thought resentfully.  She's scared of me, her daughter, she continued.

McGonagall sighed. "It's an unexpected side effect."  A side effect?  All this is is a side effect! She screamed inside her head.  I'm green for heaven's sake – Green!

"A side effect to what?" her father demanded, his mind much on the same track as Lily's

"It's really quite hard to explain, but—"

"Just say it."  McGonagall looked quite taken aback by Lily's parents' less than polite behavior.

"Albus!" she called all of a sudden.  "Albus, I know you can hear me!"  Lily was more confused than her parents.  How could the Headmaster hear her all the way over here?  And yet he popped right into the room, making her mother jump.

"Wha—What?  Who are you?" her mother uttered, completely startled out of her wits.   Lily couldn't exactly blame her.  She imagined that McGonagall had arrived in quite the same fashion.  Why she had arrived, however, and how she knew to be at Lily's house still remained a mystery.  And despite the ruckus that was stirring up Dumbledore proceeded undaunted. 

"I am Albus Dumbledore, the Headmaster of Hogwarts.  I am sorry for dropping in unannounced but there is really a very urgent matter I need to discuss with your daughter," he said, still very calm and dignified.  Lily, however, couldn't help but be apprehensive about what was wrong with her.  What is he going to say? she wondered, tracing her hand with her finger.  

"What is wrong with me?" she asked meekly, still afraid of the answer.  "Am I going to be okay?"

"Yes, of course.  If you'll excuse us Mr. and Mrs. Evans, I really need to talk to Lily alone.  Professor, if you would please go and explain the situation to them."

"Albus, I'm not quite sure I myself understand."  But a second later she nodded as if she knew exactly what was happening.  I wish I understood that well, Lily thought.  But yet she still remained clueless.  Her parents left her room with some protest, but they balked under McGonagall's firm gaze exactly as the bravest Gryffindor did.

"But really—" her mother started.

"Is this necessary?" her father asked.  "She is our daughter." He was firm, his mouth set in a straight line.

"It is completely necessary." Her voice left no room for compromising.  "Now come along." She walked primly and dutifully out of the room.  Her parents followed confusedly.  Normally this might have amused Lily but under the circumstances she was in no mood to be even remotely happy.

"Um… Professor Dumbledore? What—what is going on?"  Dumbledore regarded her with warmth in his eyes, the once imposing figure seeming to melt around him.  Lily had never really talked to the Headmaster and being only ten, about to be eleven, she was almost as nervous about this as why she was, well, _glowing._

"Ah, yes.  You are under special circumstances, Lily.  No doubt you are very confused about it all.  Shall I start at the beginning?"

"Yes, yes please."  Lily crossed her fingers.  Let me be okay, she begged in her mind.  Please, _please, let me be okay._

"At the beginning of the year, Lily, you were in an odd condition, if I remember correctly."  Lily was surprised that he even knew about it, let alone remembered.  There are so many people at Hogwarts, but he actually knows about me, she thought in wonder.  "When you were in Potions the day you were sent to the Infirmary do you remember what happened?"

"It's … its hard for me to remember what happened to me before that day," she said slowly.  "It's all blurry, light I was just staring at a light bulb."  

"Ah yes, light bulbs are curious inventions, aren't they.  I must confess, when I first encountered them I was dizzy for hours."  Lily giggled.

"We were supposed to be making some sort of potion, I know.  I was working with Sirius."  She made face.

"Mr. Black certainly is a character, isn't he?"

"A character from a badly written comedy, that's for sure," she said bitterly before realizing it had come out of her mouth. "Oh!  Oh, I didn't mean that.  Really, really I didn't."

"No worries, Ms. Evans. Sometimes I quite agree.  Though we might not want to be telling Mr. Black that, I'm sure he'd like to keep the delusion that he was taken from a well written comedy," he said, chuckling.  Lily giggled again.  Dumbledore was closer to a real person than she had ever imagined.  He was like her grandfather; except for she didn't think Dumbledore wore dentures.  "Well, do you remember what you two were doing now?" he prompted again.

"I remember aqua, really, really bright aqua.  And it hurt.  I fell, I think, and I saw Professor Pravus's face over me."  She shrugged, embarrassed she remembered so little.  "I'm sorry."

"Apologizing is quite unnecessary.  I was simply testing to see some effects of the accident."  Lily didn't know how to reply to that.  There they go again with the side effects, she thought.  "The potion you were making, Lily, was a sense-enhancing potion.  It would take your weakest sense and sharpen it for about an hour.  In your case it would have been your eyes, normally."

"I remember that potion!  I've been studying it for our midterm exams."

"I have fond memories of the midterm exams myself."  Lily just raised her eyebrows.  "Actually I've been trying to do away with them; they just take up too much time you students could use to learn more.  But in this case it is helpful.  Tell me what you remember of the potion."

"It was called the La—Le—Leniamen potion.   The main ingredients were Acroayte, the Chaeucus plant, and some sort of flower, I think.  That's all I remember."

Dumbledore gave her an approving look.  "Very well done, Ms. Evans.  That potion, it was flung into your eyes.  It concentrated there, then spread.  It was taken through a different internal tract than it would have been if you had simply swallowed it.  No one could have expected it, but it magnified the potion's powers."

"But then why am I glowing?  I mean, they are connected, aren't they?  But how?"  

"In an effort to annul the potions effects we placed a long-lasting charm on you.  You probably haven't heard of the Killing Curse in Defense Against the Dark Arts yet."

"No, I don't know anything abut it."  Do I want to? she wondered.  Do I want something with the word _killing in it to have to do with me?_

"It's also called Avada Kedavra, it's a curse used only by powerful dark wizards that can kill instantly."  He better not kill me, Lily thought in a frantic moment of apprehension.  "It's also illegal."  Lily sighed in relief. "The spell that was used on you, Lily, was meant to be a slow-acting long-term spell that would exterminate the remnants of the potion's effects from your system." Lily nodded.  She hadn't much of a clue as to what he was saying.

"But still, I don't understand the glowing," she said.  I swear, it seems as though he's avoiding it, she thought.  

"Let me show you something, Lily.  It's a hologram of what would happen if Avada Kedavra was used on, let's say, a housefly.  Watch."  As he spoke a vortex of colors appeared before her before turning to a glossy white, then faded into the natural background of her room.  A fly appeared out of nowhere, then, suddenly, with a flash of green light, dropped and withered to the floor, motionless.

"Oh my…"  The fly disappeared and she remembered that it truly hadn't been killed.  The image played over and over in her head.  "Green," she whispered, comprehension dawning.  She looked at Dumbledore, both surprised and angry.  "You put a Killing Curse on me?  You—you were _killing part of me, without telling me!"_

"Lily, calm down, please and let me fully explain."

"Explain why you were killing me, of course.  Go ahead."  Just like you went ahead and put a spell on me, she seethed.

"It was for your benefit, there were simply precautions that had to be taken.  You would have been overpowered by the spell."

"I wasn't supposed to find out, was I?  You were planning on having the spell work out just fine and I wouldn't ever figure it out and things would go back to normal."

"It was the best option we had."

"You should have told me.  You should tell _anyone before you do magic on them."  She crossed her arms over her chest and stuck out her chin defiantly._

"Now I do believe we should have told you.  But we must keep the spell on."

"How do I know it's not hurting me?" she asked, still doubtful and very much still hurting.  How could he do this to me? She wondered.  How could he just put a spell on me and think it wouldn't matter because I would never find out?

"I am sorry Lily.  I promise it won't hurt you.  It hasn't had any malingering affects yet, so none should come in the future.  Rest assured that you will be fine."  She eyed him.  She didn't think se could trust him.  Trust was a difficult concept for Lily, and he tread the line.  He had seemed so welcome, so nice just a few minutes ago.

"Well, fine then," she said boldly.  "You can go now; I don't need to know anything more."  Dumbledore looked hurt; he was more upset with himself than anything.  He wasn't used to making mistakes.  When he returned to Hogwarts Madam Pomfrey was waiting in his office.

"You said there wasn't going to be an accident, Albus."

"I know, I know."

"You could still remove it, couldn't you?  You could before."  He sighed.

"I probed her power while I was there, trying to sense it.  It's growing Poppy, it has resisted the spell. It would resist me, too."

"You—you can't take it off?"

"I'm afraid not."  He sat down in his chair and removed his glasses, massaging his temples.

"You could have done it before Albus.  I warned you, about this and not telling her!" she burst out.

"We will just have to accept what happens now, I'm afraid."

"This is just the beginning, now, you know.  You thought it would be a good experience for her, Albus.  You thought it wasn't a problem.  Sometimes other people don't take to adversity the way you do.  Not everyone is as brave as you, not everyone can manage under the circumstances that you do.  And this is a ten-year-old girl who has to handle what could send a grown wizard to St. Mungos.  You better start to understand that as wise as you are, you still have some things to learn."

"I still believe that it will make her a stronger person, Poppy.  I am sure of it."

"I don't doubt it either," she said more calmly.  "But at what cost?"

* * *

Lily sat in her room late on Christmas morning.  She had to stay home.  Her family was with their relatives.  Lily was at home. Her family was gone.  She was home.  Alone.  On Christmas.

"This bites."

"'You can't go, Lily, dear.  What would the rest of the family say?'" she said, mimicking her mother in an unflattering tone.  Petunia had been standing behind her, peeking through the door.  She was too scared out of her wits to even speak to Lily.  "'We'll come home just as soon as we can and we can open our family's presents here.  We'll just stay until lunch, then we'll be right home.'"

Lily gulped, fighting back tears.  Dumbledore ruined everything, she thought passionately.  He ruined Christmas, my one time to be home with my family.  He ruined it all.  She let her tears go and they streamed down her face.  A few minutes later she had wiped her tears and gotten out of bed, determined to make the best of it.  She looked outside.  "It's snowing," she said softly.  "A white Christmas."  Then, a few seconds later: "A white Christmas _alone."_

Perched on a tree outside the window was an owl.  She cracked open the window and let the bird inside to warm up.  He dropped off a present and soon more followed.  "At least some people remembered me," she said grumpily.

First was something from Meagan.  A small card telling of her break, hoping Lily had a good one as well.  She offered to talk if anything went wrong or Lily felt cut off from the wizard world.  Lily smiled; Meagan was just about the sweetest person she knew.  She always knew what to say, she never took sides.  She also helped to pacify Veronica.    Veronica had sent her a book of curses 'in case she ever needed to get even with anyone again,' as she said in the attached note.  Lily didn't think she would need it anytime soon but she was glad she had gotten the present.  

Eleanor, on the other hand, had gotten her a cute little vanity case.  Lily loved it immediately.  Aileene had sent a framed picture of all five roommates with Best Friends written underneath.  The picture moved and everyone was laughing and smiling.  It figures, Lily thought, that while I'm in a horrible mood here I am still happy with my friends, even as my picture self.  Lily was wary to open Cara's present, expecting something just as crazy as Cara herself.  But Cara had actually gotten Lily a book on the history of the wizarding world.  Flipping through it she wished more than anything to be back at Hogwarts.

I won't let Dumbledore spell me up and keep me home, she thought rebelliously.  She sighed.  "Oh, who am I kidding?  I can't do anything."  Opening up the vanity case Eleanor had gotten her she looked inside.  There was a mirror and place for jewelry, and… the mirror.

"I'm not green," she said, looking in it.  "I'm not green!" 

She heard the front door open and immediately ran down the stairs to find her parents.  "Mom!  Dad!  Its gone, it really is!"  Pure shock was on their faces as Lily ran and gave them hugs.  Lily's mom brushed Lily's hair back off her face.  Her mom was crying, for some reason, and Lily knew that something was worng. Her eyes suddenly shone with saddened awareness.

"Lily, Lily dear, it's… it's not gone sweetie," her mother said softly, piteously.

"But I saw it," she spluttered.  "I mean, I saw it not there." Petunia ran upstairs to her room and slammed the door, Lily flinched.

"Coppertop, look," her father said, leading her over to the mirror in the hall.  And now she saw it, she was still the same bright green, she still had the same freakish glow.

"No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! It was gone, it wasn't there!" Her father tried to hug her but Lily pushed away.  She ran upstairs and slammed her door just as hard as Petunia had.  She flung herself on her bed and cried.  She didn't come out all day.  She didn't open any more presents, she simply sat and moped.  Eventually she talked, but for the rest of the holiday break she was simply depressed.  Her parents left her off at the train station, worried.  Her mom started to cry.

"Oh, Henry, I knew this magic wasn't a good idea.  Look at her."  But in a second she was gone, passing through the barrier.  She wouldn't see her parents for another five months.  

* * *

Lily walked apprehensively onto the train.  What will everyone say? She wondered.  What will they do?  She was so caught up she didn't notice someone walking up behind her. "Lily!"  

"Meagan!" she called, happy to see her friend. 

"I was worried when you didn't owl back.  Is anything wrong?"

"Besides the obvious, you mean?" she said with a bitter laugh.  Meagan looked confused.

"What do you mean?"

"What do you mean what do I mean?" 

"Did you not tell me something?" Meagan asked, just as confused as before.

"It's not something that needs to be told.  Just look at me!" Lily snapped, people looked over at her.  "I'm green!"  Meagan cocked an eyebrow.

"You certainly do have an odd way of saying hello, Lily.  But anyway, lets just get on the train."  Meagan turned and walked on, leaving a stunned Lily for a moment before she followed.  Can she not see? She wondered.  Everyone else has been able to see, she thought.  She followed Meagan into a compartment, a larger one then they had on the way out thankfully.  

They all squealed at seeing each other, happy to be back.  Lily stood still, astounded.

"Can any of you see it?" she asked quietly.  She got five very odd looks in return.

"Not this again, Lily," Meagan said.

"But I'm green!  I am," she said.  She should have been happy that they couldn't see, that she wasn't alienated here, too, but she wasn't.  She was upset.  Upset because as soon as she started to accept something it always seemed to go around and change.  And she was sick of it.

"There isn't anything green about you," said Eleanor.  "Except your eyes," she added as an afterthought.

"But I have brown eyes," Lily said slowly.

"No, no you really don't," Veronica assured her.  "They are very much green."

"I have always had brown eyes, I don't know what you are talking about," she said defiantly.  Aileene laughed and rummaged through her bag.

"Here, Lily," she said, handing her a mirror.  "Take a look."  Cara, who had been oddly silent, finally spoke up.

"I want to see too," she said while getting behind her to look over Lily's shoulder.  "Oh, my…  You guys, you have _got to see this."  They let out a collective gasp._

"You really are green," Veronica said.

"Your eyes really are brown," Meagan added.

"I told you guys," Lily said, proceeding to retell the entire story.  Well, everything Dumbledore had told her at least.  It still felt like something was missing, something wasn't right.  Why did she look one way one minute and another way the next?

"But when I look right at you you are normal with green eyes," Eleanor said.

"Yeah," Cara added.  "Why should it make a difference?"

Why _should it make a difference? Lily wondered.  She had a feeling she wasn't going to soon find out._

And she didn't.  Midterms passed.  And so did winter, too, and eventually spring.  She never talked to Dumbledore, he made no effort.  But a steady dislike for him grew and grew.  She came to resent him.  But it was a passing matter.  Her happiness returned after that frightful visit home and when the schoolyear was over she didn't know how she would ever make it through the summer.  She was to be stuck at home for three long months.  Abandoned with no magic, no friends, and no one who could relate.  I'll bore myself to death, she thought miserably.

But she had been wrong once about going home.  She was soon to be wrong again.

* * *

I know it's short, and I know it's a day late.  I really am sorry.  Exams went reasonably well.  Not too good in French but I got a 97 in English!  Yes well, writing is my life so I guess it was to be expected.  Who needs French anyway?  (Sorry Le Chat Qui Garde le Lune) Anyway, to make up for the lateness I will use slightly less reviews than last time until chapter 6.  How about 115? If not expect this on the 16th.  And I'll try to get it up on time.  Also, to Lily's Problems readers, I already have 6,000 words to chapter 19!  So it'll be nice and long to make up for the last chapter!

Thankyou to:

Ariana ~ Glad you liked the chapter.  Hope you think this one is just as good!

Arwen ~ I must be going crazy!  I cant believe that out of everyone **you weren't on my thankyou section!  You deserve a zillion thanks :) I'm just being dumb.  Oh, and if you want you should join the Yahoo group I have linked to on my profile.  Please?  *puppydog eyes* You know you want to… It's not even mine, but Yasmin (the person who started it) said invite your friends, so I'm inviting you!  Well, anyway, I will talk to you soon, okay?**

Britz ~ Hm, what to say, what to say.  You already know I luv ya till the ends of the earth ^_^  At least I hope you do.  Well, I will talk to you soon, I am going for actually replying quickly to all your emails from now on.  Yikes, um, I might need to work on it a bit, but it's the thought that counts right?  Well, enough rambling, ttfn.

Cquill13 ~ You can always put me on Author alert because now I have support services, but I will go on emailing you unless you tell me to stop.  And double sorry I didn't upload this sooner.  I wanted to but I got caught up in LP.  Ttyl :)

Dynamite Rave ~ Yay! Os glad you liked the fic.  Not much to say as I will probably talk to you on the message boards soon.  But until then hugz and kisses! 

Hannah ~ Ok, so you asked where I get my ideas and I just really don't know.  I get one idea and others sort of follow along.  Sorry I cant explain it better than that but I guess there isn't an easy answer.  

JanusMelina ~ Yeah, I really am just 14.  Writing has always been a thing for me though.  I am glad you think that I write well, if you work with college students and think that I write well then that certainly is a compliment.  Thanks again.

Kaeera ~ Hey!  As always, loved the review, so cute! I think you accomplished inflating my ego anyway :)  And I'm sorry for the 6th grade falling-off-the-chair incident.  I would have died.  Ttyl!

Kranberries ~ again I just have to say sorry for taking so long until I reviewed your fic.  Sometimes I can get a little unorganized, I'm sorry.  I was shotting for making this different, so don't think just saying that isn't being articulate enough, its just perfect : )  

LETHAL!!! ~ Hola, what's up?  I haven't talked to you in awhile… And congrats on getting SO many reviews on your fic!  If I had that many I would die.  Lucky you : )  Oh yeah, then there's also the fact that your fics rock, so I guess that explains it.  Toodles. (Sniggle Digger o_~)

Mademoiselle Gabrielle ~ Wow, I hope that Caps Lock means that you thought this was good.  And thanks so much for wishing me well on exams, that was really nice.  I'm happy with my grades, so everythings okay.  Glad you liked it!

Nats56 ~ Grr… I just HATE those little ¾ signs.  Some dashes show up like that and its hard to get them to go away.  I try and replace them but its hard to fix it all.  *sigh* oh well.  I'll get over it, I suppose.  

Parselmouth Majere ~ I'm so happy that you like this, I haven't gotten a 100% flame for this yet (one girl said she didn't like the way I wrote Lily, essentially saying she really didn't like this fic, but not exactly a flame) o I am glad you like it.  Xoxoxoxoxo for the review!  

Tokyo's angel ~ You always leave such sweet reviews!  I really look forward to them.  They aren't long or anything, but you always review and it really means a lot.  Thanks SO much, really, like times a billion – thank you!

Wolf Of Solitude ~ Eep!  SO sorry that I haven't exactly been online when I told you I was going to be.  I am better with email if you would rather just email me.  And some of your questions should be answered in this chapter… or are they?


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